Saturday, December 23, 2006

Christmas meme is here!

1. Eggnog or hot chocolate? Hot Chocolate for sure. Egg? Nog? ew, just ew

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just put them under the tree? Wrap, put them in a decorative bag or box. Merchandise under a tree is just weird to me

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? fake mistletoe, but yes, it's here. With a bell that hangs down, which bonks Kev in the head every morning.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Usually, I start early, like the first weekend of December, but then get wrapped up in the end-of-the-semester rush, and finish up on Christmas eve eve.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? My mom makes spaghetti and ravioli. I prefer that so much over turkey, and now that I go with the ILs for Christmas, I like the leftovers!

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? My sister and I used to seriously practice peeking down the stairs at our Christmas presents. In our pjs. Every night of December. And the worst part was, when I was really little I couldn't even see down the stairs, until I got glasses.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I think I started suspecting something in second grade, but by third I was secure enough in the knowledge to actually tell my mom. Actually, that is another great memory of Christmas, shopping for my sister, from Santa, with my mom. And we got four Christmases out of it, because we had to sit my sister down when she was in fifth grade and tell her. I'm sure she didn't still believe, but I think she just didn't want to get hosed on Christmas if she let on.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Kev and I used to open each other's gifts on Christmas Eve, but now that we live together we've inherited stocking duty from our parents. So now we wait till after we see my nephew open his gifts. Oh, and the gifts from my aunt, we always do those on Christmas eve.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Is it just me, or is this worded funny? With a RAY GUN. No, seriously, this year, with feather garland and sprays of pearls. Oh so pretty!

11. Snow! Love it or dread it? Only love it when I get the day off school, and have no reason to leave the house. And Kev's able to be home with me too. Then, it's lovely.

12. Can you ice skate? I broke my foot by tripping over my own feet- I will never attempt this, much to my former hockey-playing husband's dismay.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Kev and I were engaged on December 23, 2001, so that was a very nice present. Platinum, round diamonds, princess cut sapphires, and my mom-mom's center stone. Very nice! And he bought me a keyboard one year, because I off-handedly mentioned once that my mom threw out mine and I was pissed.

14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you? I really love to give gifts. And getting together with the family, and spending lots of time with my mom. I love being an aunt at this time of the year, too.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? chocolate chip cookies, pumpkin pie and Aunt Sue's cherry pie. mmmmm

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Christmas morning, opening presents at mom and dad's house with my nephew, and then breakfast followed by a nap. Heaven!

17. What tops your tree? Um? It's hard to describe, and in words sounds hideous, but really, it's cool. It's abstract, kind of like an old-fashioned ornament, that adds about 6 inches to the height of the tree. And I just got it this year, and the damn thing didn't fit on the tree. But I made it fit, oh yes I did, because we'll have our house by this time next year and can get a taller tree.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? he. hehehe. he. he. Giving. I just don't feel like I give good enough reactions a lot of the time. And I don't really like people watching me all expectantly. My bridal shower was hell for that reason (and others!)

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? Religious: O Holy Night. Secular: Santa Claus is coming to Town, by Bruce Springsteen :) And the whole Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack.

20. Candy canes? Thank you, no.

21. Favorite Christmas movie? Charlie Brown, The (animated) Grinch and Rudolf

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


Am done! With the grading, with the exam-giving, with it all! My first semester as an instructor is pretty much done for.

Except, you know, the fallout from the grades. Teacher Lady wrote about the "morning after" phenomenon recently, and I must admit I have the same dread. As soon as I hit the submit button, I knew I'd get emails. So far only one, though there are a couple of usual suspects, as well as student who has dropped off the face of the earth.

But I have to wonder (like how I'm channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw?) why do students believe in things such as the finals fairy? You know, the finals fairy, the mythical being who helps all those who fuck around for the other 3 grade-carrying components of the class, comes in the middle of the night, much like Santy Claus, and bestows upon them the chance to score a perfect 100 on the final. Which will impress me so greatly that I will say, yes, I believe this little darling deserves the A! For the Final Grade! No, let's just give him/her an A on the next semester's component, too, and not waste all of our time.

I have to say, I was often surprised by the final grades I earned in college. But I went to art school, and my surprising (good, bad and otherwise) grades were always in studio classes. In studios, at least in my school, you often didn't know how you were doing until you were finished, at the final crit. But my students know what they got for the two other exams, and for their semester-long project. And they should know that if they left three quarters of the exam blank, the finals fairy must have skipped over their dorm room the night before. These kids today!

Saturday, December 16, 2006

6:11 comes in AM?!

Ugh, what is art nerd doing up this early in the morning on a Saturday? When she is supposedly on vacation? Christmas shopping, what else?

Please, send coffee. ughhhh

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Taking the whole "vacation" idea seriously

My family, who has continued to bother me ad infinitum with their chores, their kids, and their shopping, doesn't believe that I am on vacation. So I guess, in my nerdily rebellious way, I revolted against the blogging. But really, not much has happened!

Okay, so there was my one student, who is a total calamity, who suddenly needed to take the exam a full week before everyone else. Which was annoying, because I had to go in to school. On my vacation.

Then there was my cousin, she of the multitudinous trips to the hospital to have her baby. She actually did have said baby this time (grand total of hospital visits- 5. This is her third kid, y'all. The trips to the hospital grow in number exponentially with each fetus, I swear). And she then proceeded to kind of abandon her other kids, ages 12 and 8, on us from last Monday through Friday. Between my mom, my sister and I (because that's what this house needs- more bodies! Why they didn't bring a cat or two with them, I'll never know) we had to get them ready for school every day. And since her daughter's school is a block up from Chez Crazy, she's been sleeping here every night this week, too. I have an 8 year old, didn't I tell you?

Also, there is the little matter of Christmas being 11 days away, and every time I got out shopping, I come home with dumb crap like eye drops or socks or Tylenol Sinus Congestion and Pain (what's with the highly descriptive names for over the counter drugs anymore? Also, not feeling the "cool burst" feature, which feels more like heartburn than sweet, sweet relief. Note to Tylenol- no more fancy coatings, you aren't Advil!) I have ideas for everyone, now, I think. Except for...

Oh, and also, Kev is my hero. I wear the diamond earrings he gave me to wear on our wedding day always. Never take them off, not even in the shower. They are so pretty and sparkly. Imagine my surprise when, today, I was bored and pulling on my ear and noticed that my right earring was MIA! Apparently pulling on my ear is something I do a lot, since recalling feeling them in my ear last night in Circuit City and Target helped me to deduce that the Lost One just had to be somewhere in the house. I woke Kev up and told him. I'm usually of the mind that, dude, things are things and don't be all that emotionally involved. But the thought of not having those babies any longer REALLY upset me. Really. We tore the bed apart, we found a cat we didn't even know we had (in the form of tumbleweeds, of course!) and I did a lot of praying to St. Anthony. Kev was all busting on my Catholic superstitions, and I was sure to tell Tony that he was the one saying that, not me and don't punish me, for my husband knows not what he does, and all. Of course Kev finds my earring, on the floor of our bedroom, probably where it landed after falling out of the blanket that entangled it in the first place. I hate it when he's right, or vindicated, or whatever.

So, that, in a nutshell, has been my week. A quick question for the readers, because as you should all know from reading my blog, "academic" types often have no real knowledge of the working world, appropriate behavior, etc etc.

What constitutes "full time hours", to you? And before you say, duh, 40, everyone knows that, just know that NOT EVERYONE DOES. And that shall whet your appetite for tomorrow's post, to be posted tomorrow at work. If I have a job, that is.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Hello? Is it my cheesy love song CD you're looking for?

So, ladies and gentlemen, this is my playlist for my entry into Frema's Hello? Is it my Cheesy Love Song CD You're Looking For? CD swap. I posted the list a while ago, but am editing it on Wednesday, December 6th, with the rationalizations, erm, I mean, REASONS for their inclusion.
I Wanna Be Your Lover- Prince
Don't ya just love Prince? This song is excellent, with a corny disco-infused, skippy beat. Featured on Art Nerd and Kev Dawg's Wedding CD, disc 1. (What, only two volumes? I know, I disappoint myself!)

For Once In My Life- Stevie Wonder
Stevie, Stevie, Stevie. This song is lovely, but the wall of sound-style production really is what lends this song the cheese. Holy backup singers, batman!

I'll Be There For You- Bon Jovi
I live on the border of New Jersey, remember (well, they live on the border of us, really). The high note near the end, the lyrics- I hear your suitcase say goodbye? Livin on a Prayer was too obvious, but this song, I really thought Jon Bon was singing to me.

Brilliant Disguise- Bruce Springsteen

Again, it's the Jersey thing. A Jersey two-fer. No, really, I like Springsteen a lot, and for something that came out in the late eighties (I think? Tunnel of Love album, anyone?) it isn't too bad. Dragging out the word disguise to about eight syllables is quite a feat. Plus, claves!

Just What I Needed- The Cars
I am probably the only person in the world who identifies herself as a Cars fan. Damn circuit city for putting this song in an ad.

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic- The Police

The Police are one of my bestest favorite bands. Love love love. This song is sweet and cute, but reeks of selling out. Plus, my dad used to always sing the part about "It's a big enough umbrella, but it's always me that ends up... getting weeeetttt!" I think "magic" here is code for "bitchy".

Big Me- Foo Fighters
A Mentos commercial for a video. Enough said.

Sweet Child O' Mine- Guns N' Roses
I really thought Axl was singing this song to me. Regardless of the fact that I have eyes of the hazel-est erm, hazel, not of the bluest skies.

I Want You Back- The Jackson 5

Michael, before he got weird. Plus, how cute is this beat- just try not to dance, just try!!

Do You Believe In Magic- The Lovin' Spoonful
And it's magic, if the music is groovy,It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie

All Night Long [All Night]- Lionel Richie
I don't know what's worse- the jeri curl or the fake african babbling. I think it's fake, anyway. Dude, the contest is named after him, how could I not?

The Way You Make Me Feel- Michael Jackson

Okay, Michael was a little weird here, but still looked human. Plus do we really think Michael Jackson was turned on by a girl? Don't buy it!

Every Rose Has Its Thorn- Poison
I thought this song was soooo deep when I was younger. And I was really enthralled with Bret Michaels, because I knew he is diabetic. This obsession began with Stacey from the Babysitter's Club. Blame Ann M Martin

I Want to Know What Love Is- Foreigner
Like you don't love this. Totally belt-out-able in the car.

Here I Go Again On My Own- Whitesnake
'Cos I know what it means, to walk along a lonely street of dreams? Cheese to the max, ladies and gentlemen.

I Got You Babe- Sonny & Cher
Art Nerd and Kev Dog's wedding song. For reals. Who cares if they later divorced, and separately became a drag-queen icon and a Senator who died tragically and in unfortunately slightly comical circumstances. And that I imagine Dorothy and Sophia singing this song dressed up for a mother-daughter pagaent on Golden Girls. Love!

Holiday- Weezer
Weezer was the soundtrack to my college years. And this song is SO RHYMY.

Two Steps Behind (Acoustic Version)- Def Leppard
Def Leppard is the most produced band, like, ever. And I love them for it. Plus, this song plays over the ending credits of my favorite music-related made-for-tv movie- Def Leppard Story: Hysteria. Yes it is available on DVD, and there are only 19 shopping days left, y'all!

And there it is. Hopefully everyone will get their CDs soon. I am That Participant, the one who's sent everything out late, because I suck and my brain has turned to mush.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

All right, all right, so Christmas time IS here!

Okay, okay, I know I said I wasn't in the holiday spirit, and wasn't planning on forcing it until December rolls around (still 2 days left of November and all). BUT! My nephew started a love affair with a new movie. We sat and watched Charlie Brown Christmas about 7 times today. He loves when Snoopy skates, and dances, and when the kids are all dancing to the song Linus and Lucy, oh man do we breaks it down. (An aside- I LOVE little kid dancing, which usually consists of the sticking out of big diapered butt and bouncing. Sigh, I want one. A baby, not a diapered butt, I'm a little young for that!)

The best part is that he calls the movie Shoo-pie. Which is both a strangely adorable mispronunciation of Snoopy's name and further confirmation that my sister gave birth to Cartman from South Park. You just have to hear his voice.

So I got to thinking about holiday time movies that I like. My all time favorite, which I watched tonight with my sister, is Scrooged-

Come on, Bill Murray, eighties capitalism, and a feel-good ending where the hard-hearted exec comes to Jesus, er, gets the Christmas spirit? ME LIKEY! It reminds me of when I was in 6th grade and had mono over Christmas. I know, I know, big slut ho. I have no idea how I got it, seeing as how I didn't even kiss anyone till later in the year. The other thing that reminds me of having mono is the movie Silkwood, which scared the bejeebus out of me when I wasn't feverish, and which my mom made me watch. I was very dramatic in those days, and was sure I was dying of radiation poisoning. Between that, the way I felt and the smell of the eggroll my mom had microwaved, I never wanted to curl up and die more in my life. So far ;)

Holy tangent, batman! Tell me, fair readers, what are your favorite Christmassy-type movies?

Monday, November 27, 2006

Oh the weather outside is... actually nice!

I keep feeling this intense urge to go Christmas shopping. I feel panicked, because given the duration of the Christmas commercials' running on TV, it must be getting close. What should I get my MIL? What can I tell her that I want? Is this going to be a well received gift idea? Who am I forgetting? What about my flaky TA? And Kev, whose birthday is just days after Christmas? deep breath.

Then I look at the calendar, and for Christ's sake, it's STILLL November!

Honestly, is this Christmas season going to be interminable or what?! Neighbors have had lights up for weeks. Practically speaking, it makes sense for us, who actually do have wintry weather for Christmas, to put the lights up before it gets too cold out. It's been nice, and even my parents are going to put up lights this week, chronic procrastinators that they are. But the next logical step is not to light said lights, because it's not even December yet! Some of these people, no joke, have had their lights lit since after Halloween.

CRAZY TALK, I'm telling you.

I have bought about 4 gifts so far. But only because my mom makes me shop with her on Black Friday weekend. The only decorations up right now are the blue snowflake gellie things that stained my walls last year, so they remained until I can find the paint to touch the stains up. Oh, and some snowflake window clings that are on the "entertainment center" (read- crappy TV stand that came free with the TV, by Gob the ugliest piece of furniture in creation). I JUST noticed them as well.

In brief, what happened to Thanksgiving? I think I remember eating dinner, and turkey leftovers for eons, and the indigestion that comes with my aunt glorious once-a-year-is-all-that's-necessary cabbage salad, but it kind of got skipped over. I guess pilgrims don't sell as well as TVs.

In other news, I still feel bad about NaBlo drop out. It sucks that it ended that way- there were PRIZES involved, y'all. booo. But now I feel fresh, and the compulsion to phone it in is no longer present.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Tappin out, coach

I suck. I plain ole forgot to post yesterday. Ew! What a lame way to go out. The least I could have done was sit here in agony with nothing to write, tears and blood streaming from various places. No no, I just went to bed without posting. Lame!

Tomorrow, I'll try to get back on the horse.

Thursday, November 23, 2006


I'm still in a laughy mood, because dinner with the rents, the neph, the sis and the aunt were great fun. Kev always has the good jokes, and sister told many tales of her stint at the Macy's parade. So today I would like to express my thanks to the person who invented stat counters. Without you, I would not know that people happened upon this here blorg by searching-

covered in bird turd
pink cast
train crash yikes
coco crispies
mario lopez sour grapes

and especially
britney spears photos (with a high concentration of these hits coming from the United Arab Emirates). Yep, thank you.

I think this may be my last post of this nature, not least of all because I plan to go shopping with my mom tomorrow bright and early. I may not be all chipper like I have been the last few days. And also, this crap is starting to sound like one of those Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercials. Bring back the artytude!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


I know that sounds like a pirate, but it can also represent how flippin tired I am. Dozing off during basketball games is my new favorite pass time, and I am loving it.

Today I am most thankful for my bed, where I am now going to plant my sorry ass. G'nite!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

thanks in the second degree

Tuesdays and Thursdays I watch my nephew for my sister. She's supposed to be giving me some spending money for this service, but hasn't yet. Oh well. I like to do it, it's not too big of a deal.

My nephew is hilarious. He's smart as hell and has a lot of personality for a 17 month old child. He sings and dances, loves Sesame Street and the Golden Girls (hey, I'm doing my part!) and is generally lovable. Until my sister comes home, then he wants nothing to do with me. Or if my mom is around. Not so happy with me then, either. But when it's just me and him, I get unsolicited kisses and hugs and "laaar-y, I laaaa yooooo"s.

I'm thankful that my family is close both physically and emotionall (though they could be just a few blocks away). I'm so happy to be part of Liam's life, and such a big part, too. I wish I could have that relationship with my neice and nephew from Kev's side, but ah well. They live in the fabled land of New Jersey, and my relationship with those guys is special in a different way. Love love love the kids in my life!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Gratitude, part the first

Today I will begin my (hopefully) week-long exercise of listing things for which I am grateful.

This evening was spent watching NBA games with Kev and dozing on the sofa. Sam joined us, sitting across from us on the chair that is supposed to be mine, but is now so thoroughly covered in cat hair that I've abdicated to him. Sophia even made an appearance, sitting still for a record 5 seconds. Here she was stalking a spider, but hell, she was near us and I'm going to call it family unity, okay?

I am grateful for time spent with my husband, for our sofa, for quality time that just kind of happens and for our TV that finally has NBA season pass, after years of discussing our getting it.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

This Week's Forecast: Whine and Cheese

First things first: Frema, I am so ready for this CD exchange. I just need Kev to make me something for an insert. Bring on my matches!!

In other news, I got my students' semester-long projects on Friday. Part of the assignment was to make some sort of container/handmade book to contain the project. I wish I could take some photos, but alas, FERPA and all that. I think it's okay to say, though, that some were REALLY really cool, including a leather book (project was Native American) and an honest-to-goodness Greek Temple! About 8 inches tall (note to self, in addition to height and length restrictions, add depth!) and made of wood. The report is contained inside. So cool

Of course, some are, erm, not exactly what I expected. Lots of objectionable materials (aesthetically, not like, rape scenes or anything like that!) on a few, and one is a massive box (well constructed, though!) that must have weighed about eight pounds. And I had to lug these things, all 40, across campus. Owww, my arms are still tired.

So I have my work cut out for me. I can't decide how to return these, either. Do I really want to drag them all in again? I think I will add a few points of extra credit to the student who goes with me to my car to get them.

Although, maybe I don't want them to know which car is mine. I mean, this is the first bit of writing I'll be grading them on (extended writing, that is). And in the past I've encountered almost every "excellent writer" from every high school in the area. What if they put two and two together and slash miss Salma Booboo's tires?

Which always makes me think of Rainman being an excellent driver, up and down the driveway on Sundays. So stay tuned for more Art Nerd rants, including, to be sure- Just What Are They Teaching These Fools in High School, Anyway?! and AIM Speak Is Not Appropriate for College Papers: True or False?

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Sweet Freedom

Warning- all those who dislike photos of quasi-anonymous bloggers' feet, leave this post right now.

Okay, so I never really told you all about my cast coming off on Tuesday. I am FREE!! Before...

After... (both the cast removal and a much-needed but very uncomfortable pedi)

And the sad-looking thing I left at the doctor's office...

I don't know why I thought I should take home the ridiculous rainbow shoe, but I did. Hott. I'm wearing it out next weekend, shit yeah.

I know it complained a lot about being in a cast- it's itchy, uncomfortable to sleep (I'm a stomach sleeper, yeah, yeah, I know, bad) and not the best fashion accessory. But even worse to my self esteem is the new, hobbling for no outwardly apparent reason Art Nerd. I don't like it. It's nice because people no longer express misguided sympathy for me (That looks like it hurts. Yeah, jackass? The grimacing tip you off?) but I also don't like sticking out for my hobbling gait. And have I mentioned that the school I'm teaching at this semester has a fashion department? Yeah, Uggs out the wazoo, tons of leggings and skinny jeans, and here comes fatass Art Nerd in her waddly duck shoes.

Wah wah wah, I know, I know. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am going to feature some of those things on my bloggity this week. Hope everyone's weekends are rocking hardcore!

Friday, November 17, 2006

It's official

I'm old and just slightly domestic. I'm sitting here at my desk inwardly squeeee! ing.

Stanley Steemer is cleaning the rug in the living room as I sit here not working. Wheeee! When I go home there will be beautiful pristine tan rugs where once there were beer-y, soda-y, small patch of resistant cat barf-y nastiness. I am so excited it's unnatural.

The thought just crossed my mind that I should have gotten before pictures, but no, I am too embarrassed. They were bad, ladies and gentlemen. BAD. But the situation is good now, or getting there. I hope they can get the splatter of candle wax out, too, that would rock the house.

It's usually at this point in the semester that my already not-great domestic skillz start to slack off. They kick right back in after all papers are submitted, graded, etc. Usually right in time to put up the tree. And compounding the usual slacking was my stupid foot (hey, did I mention I got my cast off on Tuesday? Sweet freedom!) No mas! Accompanying my newfound emphasis on balancing school with home is increased attention to my housework. I am never going to be a neatfreak like I was in college, but it's going to be better.

Don't worry, my quest for a new feature will not be satisfied by Housework Fridays, I promise. Ew.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Semi regular dose of art?

We haven't looked at any art in a while, and boy is this blog in need of some visual stimulation! This is a section of a multifigured painting from a Villa in (or is it near? I'm doing this one cold, people!) Pompeii.

Ahhh, Pompeii. I've never been, but it's on my list of places to go. I am surprisingly poorly traveled, for an art nerd, but when we have money, boy will I be that pretentious person who's been everywhere, dahling.

So, look at this wonderful work of art. It's aptly titled the Villa of the Mysteries. I love figure painting from every phase of art history, and nakey females always rank high on my list of subjects. Even better when there's an argument on just what the hell is going on here. Is it an initiation ritual? It's not clear. There are humans and gods and goddesses, oh man, this stuff is great!

And look at the figures, aren't they beautiful? These things were buried under ash and pumice for almost 2000 years, we're so lucky to have them! Thank goodness for Vesuvius, no?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Please don't laugh at or judge me

I know that this blog is not exactly known for its airing of my laundry, but everyone, I have a very dirty secret. I am only coming clean tonight because this love affair is now over. It ended tonight at 9:00 EST. One man won and another walked away, broken hearted.

Y'all, I was just totally addicted to Dancing with the Stars. Yes, I know it's cheesy. And I realize you can definitely misconstrue this wonderfully entertaining show as being pretty C-list stuff.

However, there is just something about watching people dance that makes me happy. I loved watching this show. I watched with my sister and my mom, and at first I made fun of them for liking it so much. But somehow I got hooked. I'm not proud.

Now that my secret is out, can I just tell you how loud I screamed and yelled when Emmitt won? I pretty much always root for the underdog, but even moreso when he's just so darn likable. Emmitt seemed like he really enjoyed himself, and he probably wouldn't be all bitter and heartbroken had he not won.

Even better than Emmitt winning? Mario Lopez losing! I HATE him, I hate his jerkoff face, I hate his jerkoff attitude. He was so cocky. And that "romance" thing he had going with his partner- uh, yeah, dude. I'm not buying it, that was sooooo for the cameras. You suck. Now he's being all sour grapes about losing. There was an interview on my local news with him. He said something to the effect of thinking that this contest was about the best dancer. Ew! What a douche! What a cocky prick, and his partner, ew hate her too. Hate her so much that when she comes on the screen I am compelled to yell HATTTTE. Ew. Ew.

So let's have it readers. What is your TV dirty secret?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

So what do you want to do with the rest of your life?

I've been pretty down on myself for not really working on my exams. I am so lost, I have but no clue what I'm supposed to do. Really. And it doesn't help that my closest friend in the department doesn't know either. And? She's been studying for a year. Oh no!

But I've come to a realization. I am pretty young. I think I have some time. And there are other things in my life that take priority over self-imposed deadlines. I had originally planned to take the damned prelims this spring. Standing in my way is the fact that I've signed on for another class at the school I'm teaching for now, and also I have two classes, one of my own design, guh! at my own school. Owwww. When in the hell am I going to study, I can't even get started with my one measly prep! One advantage is that the course I'm designing (read- googling madly for other peoples' syllabi) is related to my proposed specialty.

Well, ladies and gents, I've decided. I think it's more important to get a house than it is to get my exams over with. I want to do them well. It's the only time in my life where I get to study, and I am going to do that to death.

To get a house, I need to teach. I need to build up contacts and pretty much take every job I can get. If I continue to do so, Kev and I can get a house. And I think a house would certainly help in the "being-able-to-study-more-effectively" department.

I am trying to relax about the whole process. I think I need to take my time in grad school. I am young and need to take this time to build up some contacts, get some conferences in, and enjoy my time as a non-tenure seeking individual.

I even think a baby might fit into this equation. What better time than right after we get a house to procreate, right?

Trying to get through really fast seemed like a good idea at first, because I guess I had something to prove. But there is more to life than a PhD. I want to live my life, and I want to stop living on hold. So what if I have to apply for extensions of time.

I am thrilled with my new plan. I feel like a load has been lifted. And I didn't even freak out when my stupid private loans came due. And I can't defer them, and I basically need 600 bucks like yesterday. I was in collections? My gah, I really thought I could defer forever, but I guess not. Oh well, at least those Stafford loans are still deferrable.

Monday, November 13, 2006

I'm not sure this is going to work

so I'm not going to compose a very thoughtful or ground-breaking post. But I can't get to my blog right now, but thank goodness for the back button, so I found my dashboard.

Dude, this so counts for NaBloPoMo. Eff you blogger, you sizz-uck!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

All about the cheese

Go here and do this, you know you want to!

I'm sorry, I know I'm supposed to put the button on my sidebar and have it link back to the post and all, but I haven't yet figured out how to do this. I blame Frema for me not posting on Friday night. I thought I had, but lo, I had only spent about an hour putting together my ultimate cheesy love songs CD. The original list would have made two CDs, but I didn't want to be a ham. I'm now kicking around ideas for album art. (My husband works in CD manufacturing and is a music geek to boot, what did you expect?! I can't just send out a CD-R with "Art Nerd's Greatest Cheesy Love Songs" scrawled in sharpie!) (Maybe being a little bit of a ham there). I can't wait to get mine, yay yay yay!

In other news, I'd like to finally have my own blog header, and I hereby commission Kev to do it. I have a tagline in mind, I just have to figure out the specifications of a blog header- how big, etc. Liberal Banana is still up and has those links, so maybe before, oh, I don't know, the end of the year, I'll have an awesome bloggity blog blog header. Don't you worry. I realize how cheesy it is for someone who supposedly holds a BFA to have a crappy blogger template, but remember, I am a grad student and an adjunct instructor to boot- buying my own skin is not high on my list of priorities. I would love that, but alas, no.

So this entry, it is all about the cheese, eh- both giving it to others and taking it away. Happy Sunday, everyone!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Damaged, squared

I didn't know it was possible, but ladies and gentlemen, I've done it. I broke my cast.

Let me emphasize- I BROKE. my CAST.

There's a bigh hole in my heel, and up at the top on the underside of my foot, there's a lengthwise crack. And various lateral cracks and peelages.

Did you know this was possible? It is, and my god I've done it.

Also- Three days to go, and I'm getting scared about getting this thing off. I know, I've bitched and complained about it a lot, but I'm scared of how it's going to feel when the cast is gone. I dread waddling around without a bright pink cast on my leg even more than I did with my fiberglass appendage. All the unwelcome attention that I still haven't really written about is far better than what I've built up in my mind to be excruciating pain without any outward indicators of injury.

I know, I'm crazy. Hold me, readers. sniff sniff.


I forgot last night. Ooops. I suck, I am no longer hardcore. I remembered at 1 o'clock last night, and though I'd fallen asleep on the sofa, I hadn't gone to bed yet, so maybe that still might have counted. But I couldn't form a coherent thought, so I skipped it.

Back on the wagon! Maybe I'll just try to have 30 entries for November. That's still a worthy goal, yes?

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I always feel like...


Sophia's watching meeee!

Sing it to the tune of that "dude-who-sounded-a-lot-like-Michael-Jackson-and-was-kinda-his-protege"'s "Somebody Watching Me" song, and it's funny.

I think it is, anyway.

This is Sophia, peeking around the corner of my laptop while I was taking notes for my lecture a few days ago. She's a creep, isn't she?

I'm a little swamped with stuff right now. The substantive content will return tomorrow! NaBloPoMo is about quantity, not quality, yes?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


I've been a little leary of getting into specifics about students. I'm not going to now, either, but I just wanted to preface my bitchfest today with a little disclaimer that I'm not trying to get dooced or anything. i'm not going to talk about students, but focus more on my own experience in the classroom. I just wanted to set up my philosophy about writing about school, mainly so that you realize that I know there are other people in my classroom than just me. I'm not being self-centered, I'm protecting my ass :)

So, yes, Augustus went well. I had some makeup exams to give, so I did that, and then accompanied my sister Santa shopping for her son. That was so fun!

When I got home, I had some emails in my inbox. Some were ones that I'd been expecting- one student I've been working with closely, she's had a rough semester. Another student explaining why he hadn't been in class today.

And then.

The jerky requests for extensions on their semester-long projects. Not only are they asking 2 days before it's due, they are not asking in very nice ways. Well, some of them are, some aren't.

This is what I told them, and please weigh in with your opinions. I basically told them that it was up to them to turn their projects in. If they gave me a paper on Monday rather than the due date of Friday, I'd have to penalize them (minimally) for professionalism.

In truth, I don't care if they give me their papers on Monday. I'm not even going to look at them until the Final final pres next Friday. But? A deadline is a deadline. They've known about this since the beginning of the semester, ya know? And, since I'll be teaching at this school again in the spring, I'm being extra careful not to get a reputation as an easy teacher.

Wait, easy is probably not the word I'm looking for. Push-over? But anyway, the jerkiest email pointed out that I'd allowed a small group of students to take the exam a day later. I had done that, yes. But these guys asked me, in person, adult-to-adult. I obliged. And I'll tell ya, that exam was harder- not only in content, but in the fact that I had to have them take it in the library. Distractions and crappy photocopied images instead of dead quiet and a lovely powerpoint pres by yours truly.

So, how did I do, readers? Am I still too soft? A big ole bitch? i'll be hearing about it sooner or later, they do fill out course evals, after all.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I hope this isn't considered cheating, or meme-ing

Tomorrow I am set to teach about Rome, for the love of gob, something I know something about! Woo to the hoo, baby!

I'm starting with the Republic and its demise, including some about Julius Caesar, and then on to one of my favorite historical figures- Augustus. It's funny that most people know Julius Caesar, who was killed before he did most of what he'd planned. Augustus had a much greater impact, especially visually, on Rome. And he lived to be in his 80's- plenty of time to do some damage!

It got me to thinking- which historical figures I'd like to meet. Because you can usually tell a lot about a person by who they pick, blah blah blah psychobabble-cakes.

But he's really my only one. There are artists that I greatly admire, but I don't want to meet Degas- he is thought to have been a horrible anti-Semite and misogynist. Maybe if I put in a proviso that I'll only meet him if I can dispel those myths.

Manet- oh to sit with him while he painted those late-in-life still lifes. But he was kind of a pain in the ass.

We all know how I react when I meet people I admire- hello, nearly threw up on the artist I wrote my thesis on. So I think I'll stick with just one. I like my illusions just fine, thanks.

Of course, I'd like to meet my Grandpop and Pop-pop as an adult. And my dad's mom, who died before he and my mom married. I imagine her speaking with an Irish accent, which my dad says was only the case when she was angry. But they're not famous.

Readers? Who would you all like to meet? I'd give you up to five. Go!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Making frieeeeeends, for the world to seeeeee...

I love NaBloPoMo!

Not only do I have the freedom, nay, the need to post anything, just to have a post on the day, I met some new friends!! Ladies and gentlemen, behold:

Sugared Harpy

Two more art historians in the house! As per her comment earlier today, Roricka and I have formed a gang of rogue art historians. boo-frickin-ya, ya'll. And? In checking in this morning between classes, I found that my bloggy is mentioned on wikipedia under "academic blogs". And then the entry throws around words like pedagogy and techy things, and I'm all, "Huh?" Because really, they just throw us in a classroom and let us fend for our damn selves. I'm working without a net, here! And the academic talk around here is basically a random smattering of tales of the kind of ass I made of myself today in front of class. Oh wikipedia, you silly silly bitch!

And in other, related news, I think my BFF from grad school might be moving back to my fine city. And not only that, but might be moving to a sublet that is about 4 minutes from our house! I'd die, just die if she were that close. I'm gushing, and I'm so not a gusher.

My house smells like mulled cider, not from the actual thing, but from the candle I bought the other day at Lowes. Mmmm, beautiful! The end

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Damn my breadth of knowledge of crappy 80's music!

Tomorrow I am slated to teach about the Etruscans. I have to emphasize how they never formed a real nation, it's just a bunch of connected but separate city-states.

And their art is fascinating and beautiful and very strange. See?

I love it!

But damn if I don't have "I am Etruria", sung to the tune of "I am the warrior" by Scandal stuck in my head. Crap.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

A Tale from the Trenches

I think this story is much funnier if you know me IRL, but I think you, as readers, kind of get my personality. I am pretty damn laid back. I'm not one to fly off the proverbial handle. I am non-confrontational to a fault. I am, in other words, a big pussycat.

That being said, listen to the gist of an email sent to me by a student.

Let me preface this (cause you know, one preface isn't enough) by saying that I still find college freshmen fascinating. I am railing against burnout so badly. I was like them once, not-so-long ago (1997 to be exact) (wow, that makes me seem older than I really think I am) (Good Christ with the parentheses, woman!). Anyway, so yeah, love the freshmen and their crazy ways.

Dear Prof
Hi, I'm sorry I wasn't in class today. I commute from New Jersey, and traffic was heavy today. I made it to campus 10 minutes late, and since I KNOW US GETTING TO CLASS LATE ANNOYS YOU, I JUST DIDN'T COME. blah blah excuse cakes, your student, suzy overslept.

There are several kickers to this story. The least of which is that I really don't tend to show my annoyance. I asked this big group of guys to be sure they arrived on time exactly once. I said, hey, guys, I'm here and starting class at 10, you should be here too. Not exactly a blow-up a la my mom pre-Prozac.

Here's the second thing. NJ is not some mythical land, somewhere between Babylon and Timbuktu. Know how I live in the city of Philadelphia? Well, if geography isn't your forte (and apparently it's not this girl's), it's about 4 feet from the border between PA and NJ. I am sensitive to the needs of commuters, I was once one myself. And? I totally took the bus with wet paintings in shopping bags with a bunch of bitchy girls from the private academy. I know commuting, honey.

The most ridic thing about this note is how she tries to pin this on me. Don't want to incur the wrath of the Art Nerd, best not to come to class at all than risk that. Who ever thought that 10 minutes late would be a reason not to go to something? I will have to try this one once myself.

I mean, really, have you ever, in your life, tried to pin your absence from class on your hostile professor who is SO NOT HOSTILE, at least not then, anyway! Hmph!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Can I whine?

It's about the thing on the bottom of my left leg. I want it off. Like now. Not on November 14, but right now. And making things worse is the fact that I'm pretty sure this stupid thing isn't healing right, and? I have premonitions that on November 14 I'm going to go to get my cast off, and my (awesome!) doctor is going to say, too bad for you, you get 2 more weeks.

See, I'm a pisces, we're known to be a little psychic. I could really be right ya know.

It's such a pain in the ass to be casted. AND? Since most of you don't encounter me in daily life, like in the flesh as it were, I can tell you that this. thing. stinks. BAD. Like, two weeks-ish left to go and I can now smell it under my desk, stinks.

I'm sorry, innernet, but it's true. IRL friend Andrew, or Fraulein N if I ever run into you, I'm really sorry. Truly.

And I'm sad because I feel extra frumpy because I cannot wear cute shoe. (not shoes, and that's on purpose) It's either a sneaker or, heavens to Betsy, a crappy clog of the Crocs knock-off variety for me. I'm trying to own the foamy shoe look by accenting with fun socks, but it's a feeble attempt at best.

And Frema looks so cute in the picture, I want my F-me booooootssss! Wah!

Okay, I'm done. I promise not to talk about the cast again until it comes off. With the possible exception of one more entry floating around in my head on how people like to talk to those who are injured. Seriously, if it's this bad now, I can only imagine when I am pregnant!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

I just hope his mom doesn't go there with the chunky soup!

I used to go to a very nice dentist whose office was located in his basement. It's really not as shady as it seems, lots of the end rowhomes in my city are converted into retail/medical offices. He was nice, remembered me from visit to visit, and sang *profoundly off key* as he was scraping my teeth.

When I got my own medical and dental insurance, I had to switch- he didn't accept my new plan. When I went on Kev's insurance, I could have switched back. The truth is, I felt bad about switching in the first place, and I can't handle rejecting another dentist.

Not that my new dentist would notice. I think everyone in the city goes here. The waiting room is always packed, though I never wait very long. The practice is so weird and machine-like, I don't even know which dentist I see, and it's always the same one. RIGHT? That's weird. There are a bazillion hygenists, four doctors, eighteen receptionists and a flat panel TV on every wall surface. This office has swank, while the old one had charm.

I was checking in on Halloween to have my filling fixed (Booooo that sucked!). As I was paying, my eyes fell on a stack of charts. Presumably of those who had been in the office earlier in the day. Well, guess whose chart I saw?

And can I say that I don't think this is a common name? And he does have rather nice teeth, and I am proud that I share a dentist with him (possibly, since I don't know my dentist's name).

Donovan McNabb. Of the Eagles. Oh yeah.

He's on the left here. Nice teeth, no? I am so not switching now, and OMG everyone me and D Mac are on the same dental schedule!!!! whee!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

NaBloPoMo, you say?

NaBloPoMo is an acronym (and one rife for double entendres, if you ask me!) of National Blog Posting Month. I have signed up for the challenge, which entails updating all my (5) readers on my not-so-exciting life. I hope to get at least to the teens before reverting to memes and "hey, ask me questions!" posts, but I'm so not promising anything.

So, hi, then, what's up? I gave the second exam today, and there was this boy sitting in the back. Tall kid, sandy blonde-ish brown hair, indie haircut. I HAD NEVER SEEN THIS KID BEFORE IN MY LIFE. Not. a. clue as to who he was. Or who he was supposed to be.

See, I'm prone to, how do you say, ah, yes, overreact? a bit sometimes. It's my mom's fault, she taught me how to get my Irish up at a moment's notice.

I had myself convinced, CONVINCED! that he was taking the exam in someone else's place.

My mind was racing. What do I do? Do I confront him? Ask to see his ID? I am so serious when I say I have nevah! seen this guy before.

I came up with a plan. I was passing out the outlines I'd looked over after the students handed in their tests. I will just ask, casual like, what his topic was. If he didn't know, he wasn't Student! I am brilliant, I think. Masterful. They think they'll put one over on the young-ish teacher, ha ha, I'll show these goofballs.

He walks up to hand in his paper. I take a look. And I must have visibly relaxed.

The paper was only half filled in. Well, I think to myself, I guess if this guy doesn't pick better stand-ins, I'll just let this exam speak for itself. No need to confront.

I went home and realized that he isn't doing well at all in class. I guess I just didn't recognize him because he doesn't come to class all that often.

Happy NaBloPoMo, everyone! I want comments and love, please, in that order!

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Ay ay ay

Originally uploaded by Art Nerd Lauren.
Ain't it hot? I somehow didn't add this to the post below, but this is the new bane of my existance. Behold its pink fiberglass-y ness. Yikes

Monday, October 23, 2006

A Hobbling Hiatus

Sorry for the unplanned hiatus, but you know what is hard? Walking in a cast. Because ladies and gentlemen, meet my albatross:

Yes, that's fine hot pink fiberglass, all packaged nicely in a rainbow fucking shoe. Whaaaat? Why? Please know that if I had realized the reality of the walking shoe before I blurted out "Pink!" when the Dr. asked me which color I wanted, I would never have chosen something so loud. Oh my guh, people, I am a walking, well, hobbling, freakshow.

So, how about them ancient Greeks?! That's what I'm teaching now. They don't seem to be too into it. I'll have to think of something to do with them Wednesday to put them in a better mood. If corporate drones get cases of the Mondays, I hereby and forthwith coin the phrase "a case of the mid-semesters" to refer to the general malaise that my students now face. They're showing up late, if at all, and falling asleep. They have an outline due Friday, an exam next Wednesday, and crits for their studio classes this week. And a broken instructor who tries to make up for her immobility during class to crack jokes about the bodies on the geometric Krater looking like Doritos and the pantheon of Greek gods and goddesses like being on the Jerry Springer show.

They do look like doritoes, no? Doritos? hrm.

Anyway, I also had my first cry-er today. She's sad, she hates the program, is transferring and switching to a more practical major. I kind of didn't know what to do- she needed a hug, but I did my best to reassure her, verbally of course, that the new school she was transferring to was great (my friend Regina went there and loved it) and that if she needed to switch her major to just do it. Erg.

They're all being really nice to me about my cast, getting me my mail, talking more in class, etc etc. They are a good group of students, too- lots of A averages, it's impressive. But I am sure I will have amusing tales to tell about what their paper projects will include. And the Greek names are always good for a larf, too.

Monday, October 16, 2006

I also showed my ass

Remember when Teacher Lady wrote about the showing one's ass phenomenon?

Well, I did that today. Except not in the metaphorical sense. Literally, I think I showed my ass.

Now, let's begin at the beginning. The beginning of this story is Saturday at 1:30 pm. I am trying to leave the house with my mom and my nephew. I trip in my apartment (over a shoe, that place really is a pit). Should have taken it as an omen. Because as we're trying to leave for the store, I pretty much just fall out of the front door. With Liam in my arms. I thought I broke him, but he really just has a scratch on his nose. (Andrew, I promise, I won't walk while holding your girl, honest!)

I, on the other hand? Ass over teakettle, totally fell on my face. My ankle? Is so effed up. Will follow up with an orthopaedic dr tomorrow. I am in an Aircast and crutches. Which, strangely enough, given my exhibited grace in the beginning of this story, I AM NOT GOOD AT CRUTCHING. This comes into play with the showing of the ass.

Lucky for me, the injured ankle is on my left, so I can drive to school. Thanks Gob. But, actually getting into the library (and across the parking lot to the library) proved exhausting. As I was about to get to the door, I noticed one of my students in the doorway. He is a nice boy and was waiting to hold the door for me. I got in the front door okay, and was able to, in a most dignified manner, hop down the steps, 9 in all.

This is where it gets, um, unfortunate.

There is a set of double doors, the vestibule, and then my classroom's doors. Between the two sets of doors, I wiped out on my crutches. Seriously wipee out. Like, flat on my ass, have no idea how to get up, and oh my god these pants are a little big on me kind of fall. So one of my students just might have seen my ass today. I think he deserves extra credit, no?

When he helps me to my feet and opens the door to the classroom (mercifully window-free), EVERY student is looking. I do know how to make an entrance, baby!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Look, over there, to your right!

I've fixed the Links part of my template, by giving it the old college try. Then banging my head on the desk. Then asking for help. Then it not really helping. Then, I gave up and changed the damn template, started over again, and viola! The linkies work.

Some of these blogs are my staples, and some of them I intended to make daily stops. I found them when my boss and coworker (or 2/3 of my office) were on vacation. And then my blog went batshit crazy, and I forgot about them. But! With much resolve, I will tackle expanding my blogging universe, again!

Am now taking suggestions- what blogs should I be reading?

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The Good Times are Killing Me

So, Kev's band played in NYC Friday night. It was fun fun fun, but I've realized how very old I've become. At 27, it now takes me two days to recover from staying out until 6am. I slept pretty much all day yesterday, and I'm still really slow and bleary-eyed right now. I have a lecture to write up, about 30 exams to grade (thank god I told them to give me a week!) and my bed is calling out seductively.

But I used to work at the deli for a 10 hour shift, standing, with no break (hello child labor laws!!) on about 2 hours of sleep. And then go out that night to repeat the cycle. And? I used to smoke a lot of doobage then, too!

I also realized how socially anxious I can get. I was FREAKING OUT about the number of people in the club. Holy crap, it was cramped and HOT in there! My sister came with us, and when she wasn't barfing in the bathroom (ten beers in the bus on the way up will do that to ya, I guess) she helped me to breathe through the fear. I am the worst. rockstar. wife. evah.

In other news, I've realized that I seem to always post on Mondays, then get wrapped up in the week and forget until Friday or Saturday. So I am now committed myself to being a long-weekend blogger, posting things on Fridays through Mondays and that will have to suffice for the week. I am not going to go all philosophical and quit blogging altogether (hey, I'm just now starting to teach, this is a WEALTH of material that grad school just didn't provide!!). I'm just going to realize my limitations- which, to be fair, have less to do with school and more to do with watching my nephew and playing with him, let's be honest!- and commit to something more do-able for me. I wish blogger had a "Publish on" button like typepad does. Meh, potato, potatoh. I hope you keep reading!*

*This is not a shameless call for sympathy or "Art Nerd, we love you" comments. I don't think. :)

Technical Difficulties

If anyone knows why ALL THE DAMN LINKS on my posts and on the sidebar link to myblogyourblog, thusly not working, gimme a holler, okay? Thanks!

Saturday, October 07, 2006

What do NBA tattoos have to do with Egyptian Art? I'll tell you!

Gave my students an exam on Wednesday- a first for me! Oh my god, I was so nervous. I actually had to excuse myself from the exam (when only a few trustworthy girls were left in the room) to go to the bathroom. That nervous. They seem to have done well, at least my smaller first section did. Three As, three Bs, one D and two Fs. The two who failed have a story that is worthy of rate your students (thanks professordog for clueing me in to this site!) Something about lending out a copybook full of class notes, a soccer game very far away, and the resultant not studying (apparently not only on the part of he of the lost copybook, but also of the copybook captor).

The copybook captor is the same student who, for the first two weeks of class, would listen to my lecture with a horrible scowl on his face. I was sure he was listening to me talk, trying to gather clues as to which car I drive in order to slash my tires or something. Pure HATRED in his eyes. Then, at the end of class, he'd get up and say, "Thanks, prof, see you next time!" WTF? All nice and sociable like! Weirrrrrd.

I start teaching Egypt this week, and I am so amped for it. I LOVE this material, and it's so fun to teach. All the death and mythology and good stuff like that, added to the story of King Tut and how he wasn't really a pivotal historical figure, his tomb just happens to have survived, and my "think about the IMPLICATIONS of this little fact, people! What do we really know about the ancient world, who have we missed, just imagine!" spiel. And I get to show a photo of Rasheed Wallace, who has just about the coolest tattoo I've ever seen (besides Kev's, of course).

See, it's like the relief of Akhenaten, and he shows his children, which is an innovation of the Amarna style, and omg, this is such cool stuff, kids!!

I had a dream that they were all really really into my lecture. I hope so. It's unfortunate that this particular field of study doesn't lend itself too readily to really awesome interaction in the classroom, but hey, maybe if I come across as really enthusiastic, it'll rub off?

Monday, October 02, 2006

Fun with email trickery

So I emailed them, and they break down as follows:

one student swears she sent it, some sort of "problem" with her "school email", but I did get it from another email address. hmmmm
two students completely forgot (points for blatant honesty almost cancel out deductions for lateness. Almost)
one left who I haven't yet heard from

So I guess I'm now the "nice" teacher, which I'm sure will translate into "walked all over", but thems the breaks, I guess. I'd still like to read Teacher Lady's brilliant comment-that-Beta-ate, but I went ahead with my gut, and for the most part it worked out.

What is it with people thinking I know nothing about email? I don't know that much about technology, but emails that are sent are usually received. The others aren't in my junk mail, and the university server or whatever did not eat them. Whatever, it's not the biggest deal, but I hate being thought of as stupid, ya know?

And another thing? Why do they insist on sending me email from hotchocolatelovin or rainbowbrite(year-these-youngins-were They have perfectly good school sanctioned, boring ass emails for school type use. Even then, some of them change those aliases (aliai? aliae?) Anyway, please, college freshmen, I think you're fascinating, but I don't want to know which 80s cartoon character you identify with, and the ones with blatant sexual innuendo? PLEASE cease and desist! It's icky for me, more than you know. And this is the girl who relishes the chance to write the word "cunt" in papers to make her advisor sweat. This is saying something, y'all

Sunday, October 01, 2006

What to do?

Good news about the OBSERVATION, everyone- I am not fired! And? I was offered another section to teach in the Spring!! Continuing what I'm teaching this semester, from I guess medieval to maybe Renaissance or Baroque architecture? I don't know. I'll get the syllabus soon. So that's 3 classes, I am officially booked for the Spring! And I will be being PAID, dollah dollah bills, y'all! I'm so excited

This week, I've been busy returning students' email. They had to send me their preliminary thesis statements for their semester-long project. I received most of them. However, there are 3 that haven't sent them in. I'm debating whether or not to email the students and ask them where their thesis statements are. But I don't want to be the kind of teacher who treats them like babies. It's not the biggest deal, I'll be taking points off the "professionalism" component of the rubric, and it doesn't weight too heavily on the grade.

So, readers (if I have any left, because, like I said, Blogging his hard, y'all!) what do you think? Of course I'll ask my supervisor, but just wanted some interwebnet opinions as well. I'm torn, because they don't need me to hover, but I don't want these students to do badly in my class. They need to pass this in order to continue, or they become a year off in the already 5 year program. I'm listening!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Nerves= completely wracked

So today was the EVALUATION. I was so nervous, the event certainly deserves all caps. It went fine, though not spectacular. Dept Head was only there about 15 minutes, and when I read the written eval, I'll keep that in mind. How well/shittly can I have done in a few minutes, really? This is my grain of salt.

My TA is a flake though. This is the second time I stayed after class to meet her, no big thing, I just wanted to say hi. Nada. Never called, no email now. I hope she makes my copies for me for Wednesday. If she keeps standing me up, I'm SO NOT buying her a Christmas present. For. Reals.

Kev got a tattoo today. It's ginormous. So big. I'll post a picture when he and his arm come home. I have decided that I am going to get my own tattoo, probably with this guy. I am worried, however, that I'll be allergic to the inks, seeing as how I can only use unscented soaps and detergent. Perhaps I shouldn't make a lifetime commitment to having a substance under my skin. Ya know, for eternity?

In other news, my Good Friend Andrew (formerly of Sheepshank) and his wife Nicole had a baby this weekend. It's a girl, named Kira Noelle Mariposa. She's beautiful, I can't wait to meet her. I have a link up to his blog, over on yonder table, but it's in some way all effed up. Any suggestions on what I did wrong/how to fix it, I'm all ears. Actually, all hair, I'm having the Frizz Problem again. Holy hell, my hairdresser needs to come back from vacation, doesn't she know that my appearance was the most stressful consideration of the EVALUATION today?!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Lauren's Secret

Well, the honeymoon's over, ladies and gentlemen. Whine whine whine, I have to be observed lecturing this coming Monday. Perhaps this is so my supervisor can make sure I'm not teaching the students to make bombs or hosting early-morning keg parties or something. I dunno. But he wants to do this in the next week or two. Dun dun dunnnnn.

Problem being:

Mon- I've planned a short-ish lecture on MesoAmerica (not at all my strongest subject, and sure to be lackluster in my performance)- followed by a quick run-through of the course site and a quizlet

Wed- review for exam

Mon after that- Yom Kippur- we're off

Wed- the exam

So, naturally, he took my suggestion of the Monday after that, (when I lecture about Egypt, and will be super dorkily into it) put in in a neat little box and packed it under his bed. He's coming on Mesoamerica Monday, and I now have to weekend to fill out my lecture.

Owww, agita. But! I am going to buy a new and professionalish looking shirt for the occasion, and perhaps new shoes as well.

So here it is, a previously well-kept secret I have for boosting confidence when presenting. Sexy underwear. Because then, right there, you have an advantage over everyone else in the room, who do not know about your cute booty! Far better than imagining the audience naked, which, given their ages, seems more inappropriate than bomb making and keggers, by a long shot.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Blogging is, like, totally hard sometimes!

Argh! Don't worry, I am not signing off or anything, but I have been very very scattered recently. I have to get into a routine, and while it's starting to come together, I haven't made time for blogging in a bit. Or studying for prelims, but oh well!

RE the groundhog- his name is Henry and I may have made my peace with him. We'll see, as long as he stops going nose to nose with my cat!

RE the teaching- have had a couple of good classes, but rightthissecond, am freaking the fuck out. My boss would like to observe me, and I hate hate hate that. And what's worse, he wants to do this in the next two weeks. Well, in two weeks on Wednesday(my natural inclination to be putting it off as far as possible!) I'm giving an exam. Monday is Yom Kippur, and we have the day off (wow! A religious holiday, something my own fine institution would nevah grant!). Okay, so that's out. Next Wednesday is the review session/ "how to write a thesis because omg that part of our project is due on Friday- shit!" workshop. So that leaves Monday. As in 4 days from now. And? AND?! I'm lecturing on Mesoamerica, something I know precious little about. And I am going to give a practice test. Bah! So this is conceivably one of my rockier lectures, and he wants to observe me then? Ohhhh noooooo!!

I finally got them to talk today, which was very nice. I'm going to start doing this every class, because now that I'm more comfortable with them, I want to get to know them. I am getting better about waiting for them to talk. I feel a little like they're testing me, and I don't think they know the infinite patience I possess. I will win.

And since this section of the class is my weakest area, I've been preparing for class a LOT. Very dependant on my notes, which totally frickin sucks, but I can't do much about that. I can't WAIT! to start teaching stuff that I'm more familiar with. But I like this teaching thing, all in all. It's tough sometimes, but I can admit now that I was deathly afraid that I'd get to this class and realize that I had wasted my time in grad school. I want to be better for them, and though I'm more than a little afraid of the criticism I'll receive (in this observation and in the course evals), I have to do it so I can be better for them.

outro- sappy orchestral music, and the audience chants- Laur-en, Laur-en, Laur-en (a la Ru-dy, Ru-dy, Ru-dy. Except I'm not a not-too-bright but very nice football player. Or something)

Monday, September 11, 2006

So not a nature girl

I've lived in the city of Philadelphia all of my life. In fact, I've lived in the same zip code for most of my 27 years. I am very much a city girl. This fact became blazingly apparent when my boss started looking for a house. Being of suburban origin, herself, she became interested in lot sizes and the elaborateness of the yard (art historian, can make up own words, remember?). I'm all, "why?" Because stuff like that is not really important to me- ya know, trees and grass and stuff.

This being said, I have to say that there is just one thing about living in the current house we have that disturbs me. In general, living in a single house has many advantages over living in a rowhome. For instance, I can vaccuum at whatever time I want to, I'll only disturb those who live in the house with me. And I can also build any furniture at any time, for the same reason.

The ginormo lawn at this house doesn't bother me too much, nor does the pear tree in my neighbor's yard that shits little pears everywhere.

Rather, it is the vicious little creature that steals the pears. We have a groundhog, y'all. For serious. Bill Murray/Andie MacDowell action up on our street, and this ain't Punxatawney. It's the strangest looking animal I've ever encountered, and it bothers my cat when she's in the yard.

Seriously, why do I have to share my yard with this?

Please, send help

Friday, September 08, 2006

Tidbits of fun

There are quite a few things I've been meaning to write about, but right now I am at my only normal job. This might be one of the tidbits, which will commence, in list form,

1. I've acquired the supposedly extra-cash gig of watching my nephew on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I haven't gotten paid yet, but it's very fun. Except when he has an earache. Which he did yesterday. This lead to the bizzarre event of me reaching in my bag today and pulling out a (clean, for goodness' sake!) diaper. I DON'T HAVE A KID. But I do have a carseat. And apparently, the means to change said kid I don't have, should the need arise.

2. I picked up the two copies of my thesis that I had library bound. I look like a REAL writer, woo hoo! I may take photos, if I can find a way to blur out my last name and the university (ya know, teh interwebnet crazies and all) and still have an interesting image.

3. I gave a really boring ass lecture on Wednesday. I felt like a turd standing up there, all blah blah blah. (Hey, did you know that there are no pictures available of Charlie Brown's teacher that I could post here? Weird! Did we ever see her? I recall shoes, at least.) Nevah again! Luckily, there aren't too many lectures that I have to give that I know nothing about- Native American architecture is Monday, but it's a little more understandable to me, and I'll be more animated if I have to have espresso delivered by IV!!

4. There's a guy in my first section who stares at me the whole time I'm talking. I think he thinks I'm the biggest idiot in the whole wide world. Hatred, I tell you. Then, when we're finished? Thanks me and tells me to have a good day. CRAZY! I know.

Well, that may be all. No one will ever read this blog if I don't get in the habit of posting something (awesome) every day. Blah! Off to WholeFoods for lunch! Viva las organicas! Or something

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

First Lecture

Gave my very first lecture today. Guess which of the following happened-
a. I got soap on my shirt before my lecture. This also happened before the first class
b. Got a little tongue-tied
c. My voice became froggy
d. I tripped over a length of cord
e. I made this image comparison:

f. Reminded students that I grade their exams and projects- it would behoove them to laugh at my jokes
g. Totally fell in love with teaching. Until someone falls asleep that is!

If you answered all of the above, you are correct. And creative, because it wasn't even a choice! I think I like my new job. I mean, I'll be better when I can talk about the Greeks and Romans. There isn't a whole lot to say about Paleo- and Neolithic art. Not enough to fill up an hour and fifteen minutes, anyhow. Oh man, gob help the students when I get to Rome, though!

happy happy happy

Monday, August 28, 2006

Professor Nerd if you're nasty!

Professor Nerd, to you

First day o'school

Okay, so here you go, a photo of me on my ver first day. Do I look official? And, Heatheradair can you tell that a boy took the special shot of my shoes for you? Dorkus, you can't even see the fun cork wedges. And my feet are, in real life, really small for my height- why do they look ginormous here?

Anyway, I may have forgotten to share, but I came up with an idea for the last page of my syllabus. I asked the students to fill out some standard questions, and then had them sign a sort of contract. It states that they've reviewed the syllabus and are aware of their responsibilities, policies pertaining to them, etc. Steal my idea if you want, I don't mind!

One of the questions asked them their class status. Uh, there are 9 students in my first section, and most of them are sophomores (1 transfer, one freshman).


There were a few sophomores in the second section, and some of them spelled it right. But in a class of 9, there's nowhere to hide.

And we're off!! Let the academic silliness begin!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

T minus 10 hours...

Have you ever been nervous because you aren't nervous enough? It's not to say that I'm not at all nervous. But I'm not, like, freaking out about tomorrow. Yet. Probably as my head hits the pillow, it'll come over me.

The same thing happened on my wedding day. I was so calm and collected. I even forgot to print out copies of the readings, because I was sitting and gabbing with my bridesmaids. That is, until I got to the back of the church with my dad and the flower girls. Then, this happened...


I hope I don't look this scared tomorrow. I was one hundred percent sure that I was doing the right thing by marrying Kev. This whole teaching tomorrow's leaders thing, who knows?

Friday, August 25, 2006

It's all the Coco Krispies' fault!

Ladies and gentlemen, my ass is dragging today. I woke up late for work, but somehow managed to stop to fill up my monster rental car's tank (jeebus, 50 bucks, and I got the damn thing with 3/4 of a tank! On Monday! And I didn't go anywhere!) I got into work about 10 minute later than normal.

However, the fog that I woke up in made me make a terrible choice for breakfast. Coco Krispies. Because I am eight and I like cavities, okay? I think my blood sugar must have bottomed out, because it's only 12:15 and I am ready for bed.

It could also be that I stayed up late last night to catch the first hour of a festering turd of a movie. Mona Lisa Smile, have you seen it? I mean, strike one is the presence of the always lackluster, completely insipid Kirsten Dunst. I've hated her since I saw her on Teen Celebrity Jeopardy quite a few years ago. She is dumb as a bag of hair, y'all. Strike two was the cheesy plot- art history professor changes the face of Wellsley, in some weird way. I dunno, predicable much? And strike three was the resultant nightmare I had, in which I got to my first class of Architecture and the students knew more than me. Eff you and your thousands of sparkly teeth, Julia Roberts.

I wanted to like this movie. It let me down, big time. I'd seen the end before, but was interested to see if the crappy ending had a mitigating first half. I guess I don't have to tell you it didn't. And it's not that I have very high standards for movies, it's just that I don't want to be preached at, even with a message I agree with. And also, that Pollock was SO FAKE. Yes, you can tell. ew.

But Maggie Gyllenhaal- might have a bit of a girlcrush on her. A double header of that and Frida, starring the woman I'd definitely turn lesbian for, might be a special and magical night.

I can't wait to get home. Kev needs to take a picture of me, because today, I am dressed as the quintessential art history professor. I look silly, and feel the need to share it with y'all. Till then!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

No, not dead! Just lazy!

Man, I wish I could say that I was busy writing lectures and syllabi, etc etc, and that's why I haven't written. The truth, though? Block. I hate it, but there it is. I haven't felt much like writing the last week or so.

But! Let's remedy this right now. I'll tell a story. A story about a rental car, and a dream crushed.

I am covered for most of the cost of a rental car for the time that my own baby is in the shop. The guy from Enterprise picked me up from the shop on Monday in the CRAPPIEST car ever. It was dirty, polleny and completely covered in bird shit. And it was beyond micro- a Kia Spectra. Shudder.

When we got back to the place, and I was signing my life over, the kid asked if I wanted an upgrade- to a Jeep Liberty. uh, yeah! So yay, for the same price I got this gigantic tank of a car, and it's super souped up. I left the moonroof thingy on vent today so it's not too hot. Leather seats get pretty hot sitting in the parking lot.

Anyway, while I was waiting, the guy and I were chit chatting. He asked if I have to go back to work. Yes, I do, I'm out at XXX school of art. Oh, he says, part of blank University, right? Yes. Then, get this, he says:


sniff. sniff sniff sniffle.

I have been psyching myself up all summer, thinking that the students won't know I'm the professor when I walk in. And this jerkweed guesses right away?

booo hooo!!

*stomps foot, pouts*

All was righted when the Slide Librarian mistook me for a student (an undergrad at that!) at the school where I'll be teaching.

Starting Monday.

Be prepared for freakouts, and some amusing Teacher Lady -esque stories.

You've been warned.

Monday, August 14, 2006

The trifecta is complete

As you all know, I crashed my car Wednesday. On Friday, on the way home from work, I got a call from Kev. Rarrrr, the car won't start, blahhhh.

Shit! Two cars in one week, surely ye jest? No, it's true. But, thanks gob, the problem was not nearly as bad as the one I imagined as I sat, overreacting, at the dinner table. But an aside to any mechanics/tow-truck drivers- you might not want to ask a sissy girl like me to "put your finger here, I'm going to start the car up. Lemme know if you feel anything."

HUH? I'm sorry, What? Have you lost your mind? This girl, she worked for 10 years at a deli and never once touched a slicer. She's just that clumsy/non-mechanical/accident-prone.

But I did it. And a stupid wire came loose, and it cost like 38 bucks to fix. Score!

So, that's two things that I own and operate that went kerflooey this week. Partied this weekend with the BIL and his new wife, them of the Kansas wedding. Big blowout in which my mom played beer pong, and WON! Weird.

Came into work this morning, and am greeted with, "what'd ya do the computer?"

Uh-oh. I didn't do anything, of course, but I was the last to use it. Because I was alone, all aloooone last week. They come back with tans, I have a busted up car, a barely-still-running car, and now, one effed up work computer. And really pale skin, let's not forget that. With the remnants of 3 pimples from putting sunscreen on my face. Be ye not so stupid- buy something specifically for your face if you don't want Edgar the monster cyst chillin on your cheek for a while.

Now we're down to 2 computers for the three of us. Something about system logic? I don't know.

Isn't school starting in, like, 2 weeks? NO FAIR! I am officially pissed because we had no fun vacation. Is it too late to go away now? And, anyone have a sofa we could crash on?

Friday, August 11, 2006

MMMM.. Spaghetti

Have you ever noticed that when you bring lunch to work, you're exceptionally hungry at, say 11:16 am? Oh my gob, I'm so hungry. Must.. hang... on... till noon!

Just so you know, when you google for images with the word Spaghetti, there are two photos of chicks eating spaghetti in bathtubs on the front page. Must know more...

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Had a rather eventful ride home from work yesterday. I hit someone from behind. And boy do I feel stupid. My car looks ucky, though apparently I'm working on an old computer that doesn't have bluetooth, hence no photos till I get home.

But! I'm fine, the lady I hit (who, strangely enough, I used to work with at the deli) is fine. Her bumper is wonky, my front end looks like hell. Didn't even squish a bug.

So why am I still crying?

I really do think that the accident was unavoidable. There is a road, a busy one, with a curve in it. And as I was (Slowly, breaking for the light anyhow) coming around it, I heard Squeel! EEEERRRRRR! There was a car stopped, but two cop cars and a police tow truck (do you think that means that they stopped this person? There? Where there is no shoulder? I'm not sure, but the cop was awfully apologetic. hmmm.) So pretty much what happened was, car 2 in front of me stopped really short. Lady I hit swerved to miss him. I couldn't swerve to miss her, or I'd be in oncoming traffic.

I don't think I could have done anything differently. I'm not scared by what could have happened or upset that I hit someone I know. In fact, I'm a little glad that it was someone I know, not some psycho who'd get out of the car and start fighting me.

Why do I have the hives? Why are my shingles coming up again?

I think it's because I feel really. really. stupid. And dumb. And not smart.

And I 'm freaking out about insurance, too. Remember, I got a ticket, and my insurance hasn't gone up yet. What if it's crippling for me to continue driving? While it'll be good- Kev gets the car, and I take the train?- I think it would be really hard, especially for my longer trek to class in the Spring.

Sigh. I'm really beating myself up about this. Intellectually, I know there are worse things. But I'm the good one! Damnit!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I should be writing lectures, but...

Instead, like a girl, I will worry instead about what to wear.

Specifically, to my female readers, what are some glaring omission in my working wardrobe? In terms of bottoms, I have

2 pair plain black pants
1 pair black striped pants
1 pair Khaki pants
1 pair tan pants with sage stripe
2 black skirts
1 denim pencil skirt
a few printed skirts, bold prints so I would only wear those once or twice a semester
1 pair denim pants - no back pocket, they're for wearing ONLY with long long shirts. Very bootylicious, these ones.

I have lots and lots of tops, sweaters, etc but am feeling a little sparse in the bottoms. Is two pair of black pants enough? I'm only lecturing 2 days a week, but I don't want to be stale, ya know?

Also, thoughts on capris? I start at the end of August, and though it could be cold in the classroom (I am in the library, after all) I am preparing myself to be hot. You know, what with the pacing and gesticulating wildly at the screen. I'm one of those very hyper, kinetic lecturers.

Anyway, just wondering what y'all thought a cute young art history professor might need in terms of wardrobe. I have a slightly hippy-ish skirt, but I'll be needing some scarves and brooches, and maybe a beaded string for my glasses. Oh, and glasses.

What say you, readers?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Morning Drive

Today I had a pretty uneventful ride to work. Well, I was late as hell, but that's really nothing new. But I'm trying to be more observant about my world, so let's explore the ride from my home to the Digital Resources Center. (oh, yeah, the sli li changed names. score!)

Up there is a picture of my new car. I love her, but she is not named yet. She may be Salma, named after the actress I'd go lesbian for, and because my 6 is sooo sexy. I think she has an accent.


So I was listening to the radio (iPod is for the ride home, I listen to preston and steve in the morning). They were talking about... I dunno, something.

Passed my good friend Andrew before the boulevard, he must have been walking home from work. He works over nights, because his wife is expecting their first baby. This way, he'll be able to have the baby during the day, and the wee one won't have to go to daycare. He's dedicated, that guy, and I love him!

Anyway, Andrew might want to know why I didn't say "Hi!" to him. It's not because I didn't try. I've made a discovery recently- I can't whistle under pressure. And I don't know why my first impulse is to whistle, but it is, and when I'm trying to get someone's attention from the car, I end up blowing raspberries at them, and it doesn't generally grab one's attention in the same way. Less, Hey, Lauren! More What the hell is wrong with that slobbering chick? Should she be driving?

Passed the lawn where, on the ride home yesterday, I say what appeared to be some sort of Wonder Woman parenting. I swear to gob, the mother lassoed her kid. Either that or he was on a leash, but the lasso seems less DYFS-y. Then on the same block I saw the tallest sunflowers ever. They were gorgeous, especially so close to a really crappy/scary neighborhood.

Then, in Dunkin Donuts, where I got an iced coffee and a bagel for lunch, I TOTALLY got busted looking in a one-way window (which, hello, those things never work!) by the manager. Ooops!

Now I'm sitting at my desk, there is absolutely no one here, and I'm bored. I have about a day's work to do this week, so expect many comments on all your blogs. I also challenge any lurkers to come out, because I am totally blasting through archives like crazy. Without my boss here, I don't even have to do a half-assed job of covering my internet abuse.

Let the slacking begin!

Friday, August 04, 2006

Happy Mood

In honor of my very determined happiness, I give you a smallish list of things that rock my world, right now

1. Am loving using my iPod in the car. My aunts bought it for me for my graduation, and it sat in the box for a month. I came to realize that there aren't too many situations in which I can or will wear earphones. Added the iTrip, and oh my baby Jesus, what a difference. Now I can listen to the most awesome radio station in the world- my own! What other station would play, in this order-
Billy Jean- michael jackson
I'm Lonely, But I Ain't That Lonely Yet- the white stripes
If It Feels Good, Do It- sloan
Pour Some Sugar on Me- def leppard (in which I hear the phrase "sweet to taste, saccharine" as "sack of beans", Miss Teacher Lady
And the list keeps going! On the way home from work I heard the Police, Se7en Heads (my husb's band), the Allman Brothers and the Apples in Stereo. Fun!

2. the words diptych, triptych and polyptych (I'm working on a Renaissance project, and it comes up a lot)

3. My nephew, who has just in the past few days taken to singing his name whenever he's not saying something else. Liiiiiam, Liiiiiam.

4. My new haircut and highlights, which I got done by Kev's cousin's wife (My cousin-in-law?). NOT ONLY is it super cute, it only cost 30 bucks for both!! Loves her!

5. Pizza Hut just opened up a block and a half away. Not that I'm a huge fan of their frozen pizzas, but hello, BREADSTICKS! I hear the same shopping center place might be home to a Coldstone Creamery. If so, look out, I'll be morbidly obese by the end of the year. mmmm.... ice cream....

And there you have it. Please, link away if you have suggestions for music, food, words or general entertainment for me. I live for change these days.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Can I Help You?

A few weeks ago, a girl came up to me in the hallway at work. She asked me if I knew where "the art show" was. Well, dear, this is an art school, perhaps more specifics?

her- I am looking for an art show, and the girl named Cassie
me- well, which building is it in?
her- I don't know
me- ...?
her- I'm looking for Cassie and her art show and she's taking a summer class and-
me- Um, there's something happening upstairs in the gallery, is that it?
her- I don't know
me- (pause) Um, well, I would go look around up there, that's the only art show opening I've seen all day.
her- heaves heavy sigh.
me- um, you're welcome, bye?
she- flounces off

Since when are people rude to others who are TRYING to help them with what LITTLE information they give? If you don't know where you're going, I certainly can't help you.

It happened again yesterday on my campus. A girl asked me where room 8-something-something is. Um? The doors definitely go in order, der. I asked which department she's looking for- econ or Art History. She doesn't know. I tried to point her in the right direction, but she walked the opposite way. Saw her again a minute or two later, and I say

me- I think it's over in that direction, the numbers are leading this way..
her- yeah, I just came from there.
me- This is a really complicated building, with the annex and the half floors and whatnot.
her- Yeah, seems to me

Like, implying that I'm an idiot!

What is this world coming to, where those who start off on a journey without knowing its destination get huffy with me for going by the information that they were able to provide me with!!! THE HELL!!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Back to regularly scheduled programming

Sticking to what I do best now, which is not so much cinema based as it is being a general spaz.

1. I no longer have shingles, except when I'm hot, which, hello? I call it my mood rash
2. I am currently in possession of my second advisor's copy of her paper that she's writing on my artist (yes, I wrote my MA thesis on her, she's mine!). Wow! And? It makes me feel better that she also writes something is strongly doing something in strong colors. I am not that bad of a writer!
3. But! She wants criticism. Is this possible? Is it cool? I don't know what to do, help me Obi Wan Kenobe, you're my only hope!!
4. I have realized that I want a baby. Likerightnowgoddamnit! But that is another entry altogether.
5. This may change, because I may be watching my nephew two days a week. The days I'm supposed to be studying for my exams. Am trying to negotiate gym dues as my payment.
6. Because I feel like a moose, especially in this heat, and MAYBE I'll try to externalize stress instead of giving myself exotic old people diseases instead. Hrm.

That is all. Sorry it's not too flowy, but fuck narrative, too hot. ick

Friday, July 28, 2006


Click here to watch the trailer for Rocky Balboa

Many thanks to for making me aware of this trailer.

Now, I am no movie critic. I'm not really into movies, like, at all. Unless they're art-nerdy- I think the last movie I saw in the theater might have been Pollock, either that or the Wilco docu thingy I Am Trying To Break Your Heart. I'm not big on boxing either. And Sylvester Stallone doesn't do much for me.

Movies in general don't tend to capture my attention the way TV shows and books do. There are rare occasions, and it's pretty funny that both these movies came out before I was born. (I think) Mommie Dearest ranks right up there, too, and I like comedies. But only two movies get me excited, chills and all-- one is Jaws, a movie that scared me and yet intrigued me from the time I was about 5.

The other is Rocky. Naturally, Rocky I is the best. As often happens with franchises, they get hokier and hokier as they move on. And this latest installment has the potential to really really suck.

But y'all, he came back to Philadelphia. He ran under the El in Fishtown/Kensington, (Not south philly like most people seem to think, der) through the Italian market and up the steps of the PMA. He's old and in bad shape and he is trying for another comeback.

He's Rocky. Oh my god, I am so excited for this movie.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

If only she still linked to our own blogs...

OMG! Amalah answered my question on the Advice Smackdown! Yeee ha!

Right here!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Stalled out

This shingles thing is for the birds! THE BIRDS!!

It's weird, though. Everyone's reaction has been, oh my god! That SUCKS!

I don't hurt, though. I feel like I've been hit by a mac truck, but I don't have the owies. My FIL says that's later though. I don't know, what if I'm taking genital herpes medicine for nothing, though? What if I don't have shingles, but some exotic skin disease they haven't named yet? What if they call it Art Nerd Disease, after me??

I'm probably posting this so that I can then start hurting, and then get better. This sucks, but not for the reason that most people think the shingles suck.

I am so weird, and such a hypochondriac.

Friday, July 21, 2006

A pox on my house!

I. Have. Shingles.

What? Am I eighty and in a nursing home?

Why in the world do I have the shingles.

What's fun- going to Target to get an Rx for Valtrex. Valtrex "I have genital herpes" Valtrex.

What's neurotic, of me, to do- Loudly ask the pharmacist if taking oatmeal baths is okay, you know, when you have SHINGLES and not the herp on the gennies.

What sucks- wearing long sleeves in July. For at least a week.


Thursday, July 20, 2006

Your semi-regular dose of art

Clicky a-here.

If anyone has any extra money or frequent flyer miles they want to give me, the artist on whom I wrote my thesis is having a show. In Mexico City. And one in New York in the fall, but that's beside the point. I wanna goooooo to Mejico cit-ay!

And? My advisor, the second, the one I actually, ya know, like, called on Sli Li related business. And you know what she said? Do ya? Well, she told me about the part she liked best about my thesis. BEST! As in, there's more than one part she liked, but the one that beat out all the others, relatively speaking, was this one part.

She called it sensitive, y'all. And wonderful. WONDERFUL! Yessssh!

And? This means that she has re-read my thesis in its finished state. Actually, I won't consider it totally finished until I design the cover of it and have it bound at the library. And post pho-toes on my blog, of course. But anyway, she said she was reading up on the literature, and you know what that means?

I THINK IT MEANS THAT SHE CONSIDERS ME PART OF THE LITERATURE. OMG, you guys, I'm flyyyyying right now. Feeling like a real art nerd, baby.

When my first book comes out, I'll be completely intolerable, I can see it now...