Friday, February 25, 2005


Well, hello there. So you want to learn more about Lauren the art nerd. What would you like to know? Who am I? Why do I blog? What makes me tick? That sounds like as good a list as any, so here goes

Who am I?
I am your average PhD student- poor, hardworking, willing to teach just about anything for a paycheck, with recurring nightmares about the day my student loans come due. I study art history, got my MA in 2006 after an epic thesis-writing endeavor, and have managed to finish extra classes for my PhD by the time I got the damn thing done. I study contemporary art, especially painting of the 70's, 80's and 90's, women artists, contemporary realism, and censorship.

I also have a BFA in painting, and I dream of someday going back to it. Only, unlike when I graduated college, I'll be super-talented, brimming with the knowledge that I've gained through study, and will set the art world aflame. I might even write about myself. Then I will form a supernova and implode on my self. Or not.

In other news, I am married to an awesome guy named Kev. I probably should have given him a "blog name", but for the longest time my only reader was our friend Andrew, and, well, I felt dumb code naming him for one dude who actually knows him.

Why do I blog?

I blog because, well, I like it. I guess it's a bit narcissistic. I don't really think I have a lot of important/hilarious/even marginally interesting things to say. But I began this blog as an exercise in writing daily, and in keeping my stories short and to the point. I'm not sure how effective I've been at that, to be honest.

I also blog because I like to feel a part of something, even something as intangible as the blogosphere. I don't really want to be famous, but more than 7 readers might be nice. And maybe I want to be caught, so my advisor knows how I think he's a giant douchebag, and how I wish my second advisor would just take over already.

I'm careful not to reveal too much on this here blog, and I refrain from talking smack on the in-laws. Though it probably would feel really good initially, I am a sissy and would cry if I was outed here.

What makes me tick?

I'm a sucker for art-school boys with long hair, who turn into rock-star types with beards. Music is good, and my taste runs the gamut from honest-to-God crap to stuff the critics think you should like. I don't have much of an attention span for movies, but Jaws and Rocky rank right up there for me. Both came out before I was born, but hey! Books are great, but I find myself reading a lot more blogs recently. I like geeky tv- Rick Steves' Europe, almost anything Rome/Early Christianity related on the History Channel, and Miami Ink. In art, I like tons of things, but among those that make my mouth water are Degas' pastels, Manet's still lifes, Lisa Yuskavage's paintings, and anything that causes a scandal.

To sum up, I'm an average arty girl, who couldn't do, so decided to teach. I like music and geek tv, and most of all, I like the blogging community. That's me in a nutshell.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

100 Things

100 Things About Lauren, the Art Nerd

1. My skin is really really pale.
2. I think this is because I am Irish
3. Actually, Irish, German, and perhaps a bit Dutch
4. My grandpop was the only one who said we were Dutch
5. No one knows if he means Dutch Netherlands Dutch or PA Dutch
6. Did you know that you’re supposed to call the PA Dutch PA German now?
7. I didn’t, until I was corrected in grad school. Oopsie
8. I have my Master’s degree in Art History
9. I’m now going for my PhD
10. I have no idea when I’ll be done, but thanks for asking

11. I study contemporary art.
12. I especially like art about big bewbies
13. Despite all this, I am teaching ancient architecture in the fall
14. I am poor
15. I’ll take any paycheck, as long as it does not involve working at a deli again
16. I worked at an Italian deli for 10 years
17. I made cheesesteaks and hoagies
18. I have a serious aversion to raw meat
19. I could never be a vegetarian though, because I don’t really like beans
20. Or peppers. Vegetarians seem to eat a lot of those

21. Maybe for protein? But that doesn’t explain the peppers.
22. I’ve been married since May of 2004
23. My husband’s name is Kev
24. Short for Kevin
25. I should have made a fake name up for him, but feel like it’s too late now
26. I called him by his real name because originally, only our one friend read my blog
27. He (Kev, not our friend) refuses to buy me the entire series of Sex and the City on DVD
28. I’m not sure why! I tried to sell him on the “it’s research, dear” aspect of it all
29. Yes, I talk about Sex and the City in my thesis
30. I also talk about porn

31. I didn’t like Sex and the City when it was actually on.
32. Now I can’t get enough
33. Though I could definitely skip the parts with Carrie’s inane voiceovers
34. And I have to wonder…
35. I think it’s pretty safe to say I’m a flaming liberal
36. I have a hard time reconciling my Catholicness or former Catholicness with the whole hating homosexuals and treating women like crap thing
37. I still mildly identify myself as Catholic though
38. I’m in it mostly for the kitsch aspect though
39. I collect Papal memorabilia

40. Loves me some Pope schwag, especially relating to Pope John Paul II
41. I call him JP deuce. We’re tight like that
42. I think he was pretty cool, though not infallible
43. He died on a day when I was trying to write a paper
44. It didn’t get done that day
45. I stayed up all night to watch his funeral with my mom
46. My sister had us wake her up, but I felt disrespectful not waiting up for it
47. She was pregnant then though
48. She toyed with the idea of naming my nephew John Paul, but went with Liam instead
49. He’s my godson
50. Liam, not the former pope

51. My sister and I went to Italy to visit Kev in 1998
52. She tripped in the Sistine Chapel and said “Fuck”
53. Which, incidentally, is a pretty-much international word
54. Who knew?
55. She also almost got into a fistfight with a big fat French bitch in our hotel one night.
56. My sister has a blackbelt
57. I still would have put my money on Frenchie
58. She was really big
59. Kev and I live in the apartment in my parents’ basement
60. It sucks in some ways, but in others it is pretty good

61. Cheap rent is good
62. And we have a decent amount of space
63. The eighty bazillion cats we have aren’t so great
64. Kev and I have 2. My sister has one. My parents have 3
65. I know, shut up
66. We’re taking ours when we get our house.
67. I wish we had a house now
68. But living with my nephew is so amazing
69. My sister had lived with her babby-daddy for about 6 months
70. She found out that he was stealing from a job she got him, and she left him

71. On my birthday
72. When I was in Boston
73. And could do nothing to help her
74. I thought Kev was joking when he told me
75. Six months later- he wasn’t kidding
76. I’m really bad with money
77. I am also my family’s CFO
78. Why? I don’t know, but I suspect it’s because Kev is very hesistant to write checks
79. I’m pretty tall- 5’8”
80. Most of my girl friends are super short

81. I look like a Sasquatch next to them
82. I used to be self-conscious, but now I like it
83. Kev is 6’1”
84. Our babies will be very tall, too
85. Despite my height, my feet are small- 7.5 ladies size
86. I blame my clumsiness on this fact
87. I am a proud Mac user
88. Seriously, get rid of your pc, it treats you like you’re an idiot
89. (My own laptop is a PC. Shhhh!)
90. I might use my student loan next semester to get a PowerBook

91. I like to mismanage my funds like that-see 76-77
92. I’m a feminist
93. But I don’t have many girl friends
94. I’m working on it, and I even like one of my friends’ girlfriends
95. But not the other one, she sucks
96. I blame this one on my mother, who made me be friends with the girl next door because she didn’t have many friends
97. There was a reason for that- she was mean and more than a little crazy
98. One day, she just stopped hanging out with me, which was fine
99. Now I’ve made it my business to only hang around with people I like, or can at least tolerate
100. What’s up with this indentation? See, Microsoft products for ya!