I think this story is much funnier if you know me IRL, but I think you, as readers, kind of get my personality. I am pretty damn laid back. I'm not one to fly off the proverbial handle. I am non-confrontational to a fault. I am, in other words, a big pussycat.
That being said, listen to the gist of an email sent to me by a student.
Let me preface this (cause you know, one preface isn't enough) by saying that I still find college freshmen fascinating. I am railing against burnout so badly. I was like them once, not-so-long ago (1997 to be exact) (wow, that makes me seem older than I really think I am) (Good Christ with the parentheses, woman!). Anyway, so yeah, love the freshmen and their crazy ways.
Hi, I'm sorry I wasn't in class today. I commute from New Jersey, and traffic was heavy today. I made it to campus 10 minutes late, and since I KNOW US GETTING TO CLASS LATE ANNOYS YOU, I JUST DIDN'T COME. blah blah excuse cakes, your student, suzy overslept.
There are several kickers to this story. The least of which is that I really don't tend to show my annoyance. I asked this big group of guys to be sure they arrived on time exactly once. I said, hey, guys, I'm here and starting class at 10, you should be here too. Not exactly a blow-up a la my mom pre-Prozac.
Here's the second thing. NJ is not some mythical land, somewhere between Babylon and Timbuktu. Know how I live in the city of Philadelphia? Well, if geography isn't your forte (and apparently it's not this girl's), it's about 4 feet from the border between PA and NJ. I am sensitive to the needs of commuters, I was once one myself. And? I totally took the bus with wet paintings in shopping bags with a bunch of bitchy girls from the private academy. I know commuting, honey.
The most ridic thing about this note is how she tries to pin this on me. Don't want to incur the wrath of the Art Nerd, best not to come to class at all than risk that. Who ever thought that 10 minutes late would be a reason not to go to something? I will have to try this one once myself.
I mean, really, have you ever, in your life, tried to pin your absence from class on your hostile professor who is SO NOT HOSTILE, at least not then, anyway! Hmph!