Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Action! Packed! Weekend!

Oh my gob, there is so much going on this weekend. In the span of three short days, I will

1. Go to the Barnes Foundation with my two aunts, my mom, sister and the neph.
2. Go to a shower for my brother-in-law's fiancee (I'm never sure, is she my future sister-in-law?)
3. Miss a reunion of my college friends
4. Neph's first birthday extravaganza
5. Watch the Sopranos season finale. Admittedly, this last activity is fairly passive, but trust me, it's big just the same.

My aunt M's annual visit from Florida is often filled with tension. My mom is pissed because she comes at the end of the school year- yes, a bad time for you, but she comes to visit us while she's in Delaware for some golf tournament. This year, she moved it up so she could be here for the baby's first birthday. I think she's sleeping on our sofa down here in the apartment- guess I should, like, vaccuum the cat hair off or something. Add that to the list.

The Barnes is a weird place. It's this guy, an MD who was all into art. And it's very weird, a mix of PA German metalworks and mostly Impressionist and Post-Impressionist works. And they have verrrrry strict rules about visiting. They're actually going to move the whole collection to center city someday pretty soon, for reasons too deep to go into here, but my aunts wanted to see the original. Hence the visit on a day that I would normally spend prepping myself to be excited over toasters.

The Bridal Shower. I know everyone hates bridal showers, but I really. fucking. hate. bridal showers. They are so BORING! They are not fun. And I have zero enthusiasm for towels. Who thought up these things, anyway? I think that, like the medical establishment making residents work multiple-day long shifts in row, our foremothers had to suffer through this shit, so why shouldn't we? This philosophy sucks, but I've already had my fake-surprise, sit around in a circle and watch me open up dishes, sheets, and the weirdest set of etched lighthouse glasses I've ever seen.

Oh my God! I just remembered that I have to go out on Friday night, to see Kev's bands, in the plural, play. Christ, I'm taking Monday off, I'm exhausted just thinking of all this!

Friday, May 26, 2006

Cats 014


Cats 014
Originally uploaded by laurenhpatterson.
I woke up two nights ago with Kev's alarm. When he works, it's set for 2am. Just to give an idea of the setting.

So it's pitch black, he's slowly waking up, and I am laughing my ass off. What's with you? he says. Remember, he's used to me waking up in tears, but never laughing.

I had dreamed that Hariette, the cat featured above, was involved somehow in a coleslaw eating contest. I never even knew such a thing existed, or that cats ate cabbage.

This was no ordinary coleslaw, either. It had cranberries and other sophisticated ingredients. And Hariette was walking around on her hind legs. Like Garfield. She may have been animated, possibly, but I don't remember that much detail.

Just cats. And a coleslaw eating contest.

Seriously, what the fuck?

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Young and awkward love

Damn it, Liberal Banana, I was going to do this anyway! I decided Monday, the day after Kev's and my second anniversary that I'd post some embarrassing photos of us. And then, she gets all bossy-like and commands us, her faithful readers, to do so!

harumph.

But since I still got nothin in the way of a post, I'll make like a good Catholic girl and do as I'm told.

Cue Kenny Rogers, Through the Years...



Awww. Our first summer together, and here we are at Hershey park. And I had this thing, this wrist problem- sprains, breaks, tendonitis, for about two years. Did wonders for my social life, having a bionic arm thingy on it. What the hell was 5'8" me thinking, taking gymnastics?!


High School Graduation for me. Also, the only photo that comes from my family's collection. We are not, shall we say, sentimental people. Fun fact- my highschool's mascot was Bambi. Like the Bambi. yep sure was!


This one is during college, and it looks like I may have discovered pot by this time. Family function be damned, I'm pretty sure we're both a bit stoned in one. And am I wearing a boy sweater? I think I am!




Rockin the skunk stripes like no other! HAWT!










Graduation again! Now honey, what are you going to do with this BFA? Check out my artschool purple hair. cute













Something shocking must have happened at this cousin's wedding- besides Kev's scarecrow tie. Must have been circa Dark Side of the Rainbow time.









Speaking of weddings!! Here we are in church, at ours. May 21, 2004. Too late to pull out now!








Dude, let's make a break for it. PSA- bubbles in your eye, like, totally sting. owww. And over Kev's left shoulder... is a good friend who blogs! But I won't name names, just in case he likes to keep shady.






So there it is, Kev and Lauren, the pictorial edition. I've found some horrific photos of Kev in this process (and of course, of me too!), but they may be for another day. It was fun to look through the wedding photos again. Some vital stats that are pretty much always spoken of in terms of weddings:

Wedding song: I Got You Babe, by Sonny and Cher
Honeymoon: Road trip to Cape Cod, Boston, Springfield MA (Basketball Hall of Fame, and that's pretty much it), Salem, Concord, and NYC.
My dress was, indeed, pink
These photos are only the ones I could take out of frames or the proof book- I have one that I love, but they're in our album now.
Something old: Antique Wedding Band
Something new: Diamond Studs, a wedding gift from Kev
Something borrowed: My mom-mom's ring, which I promptly returned to my cousin right after the ceremony
Something blue: A blue rosary from my pop-pop, wrapped around the stems of my bouquet.

I love you, Kevin, if you read this. Being married to you is amazing and fun, even if we have had some really bad hair along the way.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Post #100!!

Wow, one hundred posts, for realsies?

I guess I could call myself a blogger now. And right now, I'm even blogging from work.

So yesterday I got my Masters degree. My school's graduations are funny. I shit you not, there was a dude humming Pomp and Circumstance. Seriously, like laaaaa, da dee dee DAAAAA DAAAAAAA. One year they had a steel drum band. That would have been much cooler. They also started, em, EARLY!! I ran up the aisle as the last graduate. Then there were speeches, one doctor was hooded, and then they called... ME! Was suprised, since the names in the booklet went the opposite way, with the advanced degrees in back. I was settling in for the long haul, went I heard my full name being called. I'm all huh huh? And ran up, luckily did not fall, had my booklet in my hands. I threw that down on the ground, since I had no idea what else to do with it. I am soooo graceful. So I took my diploma, kissed various profs, and got the hell out of there.

These graduations at art schools are funny. I didn't wear my cap and gown- I didn't want to! I got pictures taken, but I didn't want to stick out that badly from the other grads. So I wore my black capris and a fun shirt I took from my sister. My advisor was wearing a red striped polo shirt with the typical tweed jacket with suede patch elbows over it, and PURPLE socks. A ceramics professor was wearing some kind of dashiki in the brightest yellow I've ever seen (also was a white guy). Huh? Yeah

And naturally, I got a rejection email this morning for that conference I wanted to do in VA. boo!! I got another rejection on my birthday in February. Come to think of it, it was for the same paper! Hmmm, should I take a hint?

I have an interview next week for a position to teach two sections of ancient architecture. It's about as far from contemporary art as you can get, but hell, I need a job. Will have to lecture on the Coloseum as part of the interview, gah! I'm nervous, so any good thoughts would be much appreciated!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Grumble grumble grumble

I feel a little beaten down this week.

1. I need a frickin job, and MASTERS students keep getting them.

2. I need a new car (equal parts point of light and source of agita right now).

3. And I look forward to a long summer of getting paid the same amount of money to work twice as many hours as I did during the semester. cry cry cry.

4. While I thought my finals were over and done with, permanently, no no no. My dumbass professor, who is new, and acts very much the new professor- overly critical, tries to show off the knowledge, generally a pain in the ass- was not happy with my final. She wants me to rewrite part of it.

a. yes, it's very generous of her to offer. True, she doesn't have to do that- I should just get the grade that I got.
b. fuck! I thought I was done!!!
c. the assignment was completely dumbass- my fantasy exhibition thing.
1. I know not a thing about putting exhibitions together.
2. I do not like doing things half assed, nor do I like doing things that I don't understand how to do!


Holy cow, I just wrote my complaints out in outline form. Get me the fuck out of school!!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

no fair!!

How am I supposed to concentrate on my papers when VH1 Classic is showing the TV movie about Def Leppard?! Not FAIRRRRR!! I mean, with the early days, and the accident, and the overproduced masterpiece that is Hysteria? and then the end credits, with Two Steps Behind... sigh...

Saturday, May 06, 2006

hot damn, that is one bad picture of me!

Honestly, what was I thinking?! I took the time to zap some zits, but I left those hideous circles under my eyes? In my defense, little sleep + allergies acting up = Rocky Raccoon under my peepers. Sigh. But that little bruise, it makes me a little hardcore, right?

I don't understand what's wrong with me, but I can't get this stupid directed research paper finished. ARGH! It's probably because my advisor has pretty much definitely forgotten about it, so what due date?! And maybe because I don't feel all that supported by my advisor anyway, and I just found out that a MASTERS student is teaching her own class next semester, and I am PISSED, and she's worse infront of an audience than I am, and grrrrr, why are there so many modern/contemporary people in the department anyway.

I am feeling sad, and now, as if I need more pressure, we have to go buy a car. Kev's has died, and we need two cars at this point. Sucks, but I can't use SEPTA to get to Tyler over the summer. And my car, which is now Kev's, is old, too. So we can't have just one old ass car. I've found one that I really really want, and we can afford it, I think. It just sucks, because we just made some changes in our finances and were going to try and save some money. Which is the whole point of living with my parents, to save money. We haven't saved ANYTHING, and living from paycheck to paycheck is FOR THE BIRDS! Anyone need a private art history teacher? I swear I'm cuter than that photo from the other night!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Art nerd, reporting for check-in!

So okay, Monday it's all over. There are three things that need to get done. They are, in order of deadline:

1. Cheesy fake exhibition assignment for Race class- halfway done, due tomorrow 10am. Not a research paper, so i find it easier to write, in some ways.

2. Directed Research Paper from last semester that I've actually begun writing- 12 of 15 pages, due whenever, I guess, since my advisor doesn't really talk to me. I might think about some sleep tonight, and hand it in Monday with

3. Paper on Augustus' house on the Palatine- not in bad shape, just have to re-write the presentation I gave. Add some stuff, take some out, change the tone, etc etc. due Monday 4pm, after which we all trek out to the prof's house to have some artsy dinner and fun fun fun.

you guys, this is my last semester! Well, you know that's not entirely true, but most people don't really get the whole studying for prelims/dissertation stage. I just tell them I'm not done, but now I can teach my own classes. Which I'm freaking out about. But someone has to give me an opportunity, right?

Or maybe the jitters are just from the enormous coffee coolatta I just housed. the thing about me and caffeine is, it helps with energy a great deal, but I still have my attention-span-of-a-fly mentality. I'm sitting here writing a blog when I should be working, for Christ's sake!! And I have 12 hours to finish this stupid ass assignment! And really, I want it to be in by 9:30. Who wants to be the one charging up the steps at t-minus 5 seconds before the piece of crap is done. Not that I haven't done that before.

hey, wanna see a totally cool thing?


Nice, I have a bruise from leaning on my computer! And it only took 6 minutes of futzing with the computer to take the photo in Photobooth, fix my crappy skin in photoshop and upload to blogger. Maybe my time might be better spent doing something else. Maybe I need to cut out caffeine.

Please, send Ambien!

Monday, May 01, 2006

Have you seen this bottle?



Missing, in addition to the pack of birth control pills. Last seen Thursday, April 27.

I swear, if I somehow find a meth lab in the basement, I am out of here!