Thursday, April 20, 2006

mem-ries, like the corners of my mind...

Good friend Andrew over at sheepshank wrote another hunger inducing post about food, in which, yay, I get a shout-out. For the record, former bosses, who, incidentally, I doubt know anything about the internet- come on, I never let anyone STEAL from your store! And I certainly never FACILITATED said stealing. Again incidentally, my sister, who is now a loss prevention manager, got fired for stealing, well, actually, hooking people up with free stuff.

Just wanted to note that. It's all a lie. Except it's not. Or is it?

Anyway, yeah, I used to work in a deli. For ten years. Yes, ten years. I did lots of jobs there. I was a hoagie architect, grill bitch (that's really what they called me) a salad girl, and a cashier. I waitressed exactly twice. I was never allowed to touch a slicer though. I also was the fount of useless knowledge and the settler of many a debate. They thought I was smart or something.

I broke my arm there. Twice. I cut myself countless times (and remember, no slicer ever!) The first summer I worked, I passed out three times and threw up once. I don't deal well with being hot, and would often sneak off to the walk-in refrigerator and cool off.

I kind of miss that place. It was nice to have a job that I didn't take home with me. Unless, of course, you count the stench that anyone who's ever worked with food knows all too well. I think it's best described as grease, meat, onions-peppers-pickles, and ASS. It was a job that I wore shittier clothes than I'd ever wear in public to do. I had three pair of shorts, two pair of pants and countless free t-shirts. My favorite one, and one that I wish I hadn't worn it to work so much, had a Dietz and Watson hotdog skiing down a hill. The caption, naturally- hot doggin'!

When I left, they cried (I was busy shitting myself about being a TA- of course not realizing that I'd be the slide-flipper and occasional shouter-of-dates). I talk a lot about it at my new job as a GA, I guess because it's the only other working experience I have. But come on, does anyone have great stories about their office job that involve food-eating dares, or hangman tournaments, or flying pickles? I think not!


ANDREW M. said...

if i was a criminal, i'd be like one of those dopes on "perry mason" that just breaks down and confesses without coercion.

next time i'll keep my big mouth shut. sorry 'bout that. i can delete it if you like.

Teacher lady said...

I am truly impressed. TEN years?! I've never worked ANYWHERE for ten years. I've never even owned a sweater for TEN years. Wow. How mature of you.