Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Art nerds, unite!!

So I survived my first official College Art Association Conference. I didn't meet any famous people, but I did get to hear quite a few of em speak. YAY! I heard Mary Garrard and Norma Broude give talks at one session, Anna Chave at another. I heard about the Afterlife of Jackson Pollock (summary- he rocked and the last word has DEFINITELY not been written about him yet, the paintings that were found of his are probably authentic, and his choice of media is staggeringly normal). I heard about Minimalism (only part that really sticks out is the pilgrimmage-like nature of its exhibitions and it's ephasis on ethereal language). I heard about Cezanne and about bringing the feminism to non-women-centered topics.

I saw a very old art nerd guy almost lose it when his slides jammed.I saw a lot of TERRIBLE quality slides. now, I may be an image quality snob because of my job, but seriously. Very Prominent Scholars should not ever show crooked ass slides! And there should definitely be a course called Powerpoint for Artnerds. Because Jesus Christ, people, show me the image, not a stupid ass template that is all sorts of cheesy and have the actual image be thiiiiis big on the screen. Also, don't lie to me and tell me the color is off because there are so many projectors being used on miles of extension cords. Bull shit, Louise!

And by the way, do you know what I do? I am the Digital Media Intern. Sounds fancy pants, doesn't it? I help to create the digital slide collection at my fair school, but I mostly just fart around in filemaker pro and surf lotsa internet. I can also shoot if the spirit moves me, and tomorrow I won't be doing jack but studying for my LAST! MIDTERM! EVAH!!

I'm almost to the end of the internet, by the way. send me pages, I get bored easily!

And I've come to a conclusion about how to differentiate between the artists and the nerds in a crowd like that at CAA. Shoes. Apparently, art nerds only wear ugly shoes. This is not to say that artists don't, but it's all about the intention. I think the artists are purposely being different, but the nerds, well, they just kind of don't get it.

But don't expect me to give in to that, no sireee!! Cute shoes, they must be mine! But I like to toe the line between artist and art nerd. Artist in the summer, nerd in the winter. Ad cute shoes wearer, the whole year long, baby!


Teacher lady said...

Hooray, you're back! Want to know something really weird? In my field (which is too big but that's another story) you can tell who is whom by their shoes. One of our professional organizations is called AAHE (American Association of Health Educators. Or something. I can't remember exactly). AAHE is somehow linked to AAHEPERD (blah, blah, health ed, phys ed, recreation and dance.) Apparently, only the health ed people (thank you, 3 month soul-sucking stint at Ann Taylor) have normal shoes. Phys ed people - sneakers; rec people - ugly hiking boots (even in a conference setting!); dancers - barefoot. Seriously. Maybe this could be a joint dissertation? We explore the "self-career identification of artists and health people based on their footwear selection." It sounds just bull-shitty enough to be a dissertation title if you ask me.

Mikey said...

The art world is a trip. I'm not real deep on it. But I do dig it. I dig any kind of creativity. I used to be way into drawing as a kid, and always dug the standard art classes in high school. I did take an art appreciation class in college, and that was really interesting, too. We had to do oral presentation for a final. I did mine on Leroy Neiman, not because he's my fave artist, but because he was big in my house as a kid growing up, my mom was all about the Neiman. Also, my ma handed me down a big Neiman coffee table book which is real cool. Anyhow, I somehow got an A from the prof. Mostly because I spieled about how Neiman was my first introduction to art as a part of your life, your house. I do remember one guy doing his presentation final on 'Korn,' yeah that's right the band Korn. Uhh, it may be art to you pal, but music appreciation is down the hall. I don't think this guy did to well on his final grade, not that Korn isn't artistic, just that he was definitely missing the point.
And the point is, uhh, my favorite artist, at least in the classic sense, Monet, Van Gogh? Can't remember. Who's the one who painted those snowy haystacks? The thick brush strokes, is it 'impasto,' I don't know, tryin' to remember. I dig it though. I may not make it as an art nerd.

Art Nerd Lauren said...

Wow, impasto, she must have taught you well! Yeah, you're talking about Monet.

You know what's funny? When someone asks me my favorite artist, I have no idea what to say. I used to have them, as a painter. And I still appreciate a lot of them that way. But now, even asking me to name an artist causes me to freeze. It's like when you're in a record store, and you have to try to remember what you went in there to buy. I don't know about you, but I always walk out empty handed, then order what I wanted later. Can't browse, too overwhelming!