Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Quirky? Unprofessional? You decide

Many things happen to me in class that I can honestly say I've never had a professor do/say/have happen to them in class.

None of my profs have had their pants malfunction. They've had hideous clothes, but never broken clothes.

None of my profs have stopped a presentation because she or he had to pee. Although I did once have a prof run out, explaining she was "feeling ill" and return a half hour later. And kept teaching like nothing happened.

None have had their contact lens fall off their eye. Oh, but once my favorite prof had to wear her sunglasses because she forgot her indoor glasses. And remember that art history, like most fun things in life, happens in the dark. Hence the need for glasses and contacts in the first case.

Those last two happened to me in the last week. And my voice was cracking like Peter Brady in lecture this morning, where my contact jumped off my eye.

Maybe I'm too rough on myself, and that's something that wasn't apparent to me when beginning this post. These mishaps are typically Lauren, but similar things have happened in classes I've been in.

Hell, I've never been drunk in class, at least! (painting prof got a lil tipsy at the gallery opening on campus and came back to class rosy-cheeked)

Let's hear some stories of professors behaving humanly, everyone!


KC said...

Dear Lauren, do not fear, you are not the only hapless one. If your professors and colleagues don't recount similar stories, it's probably because they too embarrassed.

I also had malfunctioning pants one day. When I taught, I was in the habit of sitting on desks or tables in the front of the classroom. One day I looked down at my shoes, and on the way there my eyes spied a white spot in my crotch. I thought, I have maybe 2 pairs of white underwear, why did I choose today to wear one of them?

Another time, I tripped in the hem of a very long (and very stylish) skirt. I was wearing three-inch heels, so I was already a bit unstable on my feet. I fell flat on my face. Then I got up and started teaching again. A week later, wearing the same skirt, though with flatter shoes (I'm stupid, but not that stupid,) I made a repeat performance in a class that my dean was observing. "Ooh, are you okay?" she asked. Yes, I did detect a note of suppressed amusement in her voice.

the weirdgirl said...

I had a professor who consistently came in tipsy and smelling of booze. It was a 9am class. However, his wife had passed away the previous year and he was close to retiring so we all cut him a little slack. Otherwise, he was a good teacher. Another teacher not only had a serious pants malfunction but then he would repeat the tale to future classes. At least he didn't take himself too seriously.

As for me, I'm not a professor but once when I was presenting a paper as a grad student I got halfway through the presentation before I realized that an ENTIRE critical page was missing. My printer had ate it and I didn't even notice. Biggest Idiot Ever.

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