What's your name, fool?

I was watching America's Next Top Model with my sister (what, you thought Art History profs only watch Masterpiece Theater, listen to classical and sip fine cognac? Yeah, I used to, as well, and I still hold that assumption about my profs. But I am given to the temptation of pretty bitches fighting and fawning over Tyra like the rest of us). And the girls were told to come up with a new name for themselves. And ridiculousness ensued.

Then I checked my email and sighed heavily. See, I've been having a problem, dear readers. I teach at the school I attend, as well as at another school. And at both places, my name is different. School with the Unfortunate Acronym lists me as my married name. Which is my name now, according to social security and all those places that make names official.

At my own school, I have some things in my married name. This includes my ID, my bill, my MA and my own roster. But for some inexplicable reason, my paycheck and my name as it appears on course schedules is my maiden name. I filled out a change-of-name request 2.5 years ago- obviously, my stupid ID is in the right name. And no one can tell me how to change my name on my students' rosters. I am trying to something without a set protocol!

Ugh. So not only are they unsure which title to use (Ms., Mrs., some give me the promotion to Dr.- not yet, my pets!) they also aren't sure what my last name is.

I find it helpful to kind of, well, I guess- talk to myself or about myself in class. A lot of students seemed to have forgotten my name halfway through last semester. So I make it a point when I'm lecturing to say things like, "And I know you're all thinking to yourselves, Prof. X done lost her mind!" or "But Professor X, didn't you say last semester that the Romans...?" Along those lines.

So imagine their surprise when they try to email me and can't find me in the campus directory. I have no idea if they've tried to mail me anything, because my mailbox says my maiden name. AGGRAVATION, bitches, aggravation.

On a side note- I am now sufficiently freaked out. They've asked me to open my summer session II class to grad students. And? The class is closed for undergrads. CLOSED. SUMMER SESSION II. JULY and part of AUGUST. Probably because I'm teaching about the figure in contemporary art- it's sexy, appeals to the art students, and hell, I'm cute!

But GRAD STUDENTS. I'm a grad student. It's only my third semester teaching, it's a three and a half hour class (omg!) and GRAD STUDENTS will be there. Scary. And exciting. At the same time.