Ain't it hot? I somehow didn't add this to the post below, but this is the new bane of my existance. Behold its pink fiberglass-y ness. Yikes
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
A Hobbling Hiatus
Sorry for the unplanned hiatus, but you know what is hard? Walking in a cast. Because ladies and gentlemen, meet my albatross:
Yes, that's fine hot pink fiberglass, all packaged nicely in a rainbow fucking shoe. Whaaaat? Why? Please know that if I had realized the reality of the walking shoe before I blurted out "Pink!" when the Dr. asked me which color I wanted, I would never have chosen something so loud. Oh my guh, people, I am a walking, well, hobbling, freakshow.
So, how about them ancient Greeks?! That's what I'm teaching now. They don't seem to be too into it. I'll have to think of something to do with them Wednesday to put them in a better mood. If corporate drones get cases of the Mondays, I hereby and forthwith coin the phrase "a case of the mid-semesters" to refer to the general malaise that my students now face. They're showing up late, if at all, and falling asleep. They have an outline due Friday, an exam next Wednesday, and crits for their studio classes this week. And a broken instructor who tries to make up for her immobility during class to crack jokes about the bodies on the geometric Krater looking like Doritos and the pantheon of Greek gods and goddesses like being on the Jerry Springer show.
They do look like doritoes, no? Doritos? hrm.
Anyway, I also had my first cry-er today. She's sad, she hates the program, is transferring and switching to a more practical major. I kind of didn't know what to do- she needed a hug, but I did my best to reassure her, verbally of course, that the new school she was transferring to was great (my friend Regina went there and loved it) and that if she needed to switch her major to just do it. Erg.
They're all being really nice to me about my cast, getting me my mail, talking more in class, etc etc. They are a good group of students, too- lots of A averages, it's impressive. But I am sure I will have amusing tales to tell about what their paper projects will include. And the Greek names are always good for a larf, too.
Yes, that's fine hot pink fiberglass, all packaged nicely in a rainbow fucking shoe. Whaaaat? Why? Please know that if I had realized the reality of the walking shoe before I blurted out "Pink!" when the Dr. asked me which color I wanted, I would never have chosen something so loud. Oh my guh, people, I am a walking, well, hobbling, freakshow.
So, how about them ancient Greeks?! That's what I'm teaching now. They don't seem to be too into it. I'll have to think of something to do with them Wednesday to put them in a better mood. If corporate drones get cases of the Mondays, I hereby and forthwith coin the phrase "a case of the mid-semesters" to refer to the general malaise that my students now face. They're showing up late, if at all, and falling asleep. They have an outline due Friday, an exam next Wednesday, and crits for their studio classes this week. And a broken instructor who tries to make up for her immobility during class to crack jokes about the bodies on the geometric Krater looking like Doritos and the pantheon of Greek gods and goddesses like being on the Jerry Springer show.
They do look like doritoes, no? Doritos? hrm.
Anyway, I also had my first cry-er today. She's sad, she hates the program, is transferring and switching to a more practical major. I kind of didn't know what to do- she needed a hug, but I did my best to reassure her, verbally of course, that the new school she was transferring to was great (my friend Regina went there and loved it) and that if she needed to switch her major to just do it. Erg.
They're all being really nice to me about my cast, getting me my mail, talking more in class, etc etc. They are a good group of students, too- lots of A averages, it's impressive. But I am sure I will have amusing tales to tell about what their paper projects will include. And the Greek names are always good for a larf, too.
Monday, October 16, 2006
I also showed my ass
Remember when Teacher Lady wrote about the showing one's ass phenomenon?
Well, I did that today. Except not in the metaphorical sense. Literally, I think I showed my ass.
Now, let's begin at the beginning. The beginning of this story is Saturday at 1:30 pm. I am trying to leave the house with my mom and my nephew. I trip in my apartment (over a shoe, that place really is a pit). Should have taken it as an omen. Because as we're trying to leave for the store, I pretty much just fall out of the front door. With Liam in my arms. I thought I broke him, but he really just has a scratch on his nose. (Andrew, I promise, I won't walk while holding your girl, honest!)
I, on the other hand? Ass over teakettle, totally fell on my face. My ankle? Is so effed up. Will follow up with an orthopaedic dr tomorrow. I am in an Aircast and crutches. Which, strangely enough, given my exhibited grace in the beginning of this story, I AM NOT GOOD AT CRUTCHING. This comes into play with the showing of the ass.
Lucky for me, the injured ankle is on my left, so I can drive to school. Thanks Gob. But, actually getting into the library (and across the parking lot to the library) proved exhausting. As I was about to get to the door, I noticed one of my students in the doorway. He is a nice boy and was waiting to hold the door for me. I got in the front door okay, and was able to, in a most dignified manner, hop down the steps, 9 in all.
This is where it gets, um, unfortunate.
There is a set of double doors, the vestibule, and then my classroom's doors. Between the two sets of doors, I wiped out on my crutches. Seriously wipee out. Like, flat on my ass, have no idea how to get up, and oh my god these pants are a little big on me kind of fall. So one of my students just might have seen my ass today. I think he deserves extra credit, no?
When he helps me to my feet and opens the door to the classroom (mercifully window-free), EVERY student is looking. I do know how to make an entrance, baby!
Well, I did that today. Except not in the metaphorical sense. Literally, I think I showed my ass.
Now, let's begin at the beginning. The beginning of this story is Saturday at 1:30 pm. I am trying to leave the house with my mom and my nephew. I trip in my apartment (over a shoe, that place really is a pit). Should have taken it as an omen. Because as we're trying to leave for the store, I pretty much just fall out of the front door. With Liam in my arms. I thought I broke him, but he really just has a scratch on his nose. (Andrew, I promise, I won't walk while holding your girl, honest!)
I, on the other hand? Ass over teakettle, totally fell on my face. My ankle? Is so effed up. Will follow up with an orthopaedic dr tomorrow. I am in an Aircast and crutches. Which, strangely enough, given my exhibited grace in the beginning of this story, I AM NOT GOOD AT CRUTCHING. This comes into play with the showing of the ass.
Lucky for me, the injured ankle is on my left, so I can drive to school. Thanks Gob. But, actually getting into the library (and across the parking lot to the library) proved exhausting. As I was about to get to the door, I noticed one of my students in the doorway. He is a nice boy and was waiting to hold the door for me. I got in the front door okay, and was able to, in a most dignified manner, hop down the steps, 9 in all.
This is where it gets, um, unfortunate.
There is a set of double doors, the vestibule, and then my classroom's doors. Between the two sets of doors, I wiped out on my crutches. Seriously wipee out. Like, flat on my ass, have no idea how to get up, and oh my god these pants are a little big on me kind of fall. So one of my students just might have seen my ass today. I think he deserves extra credit, no?
When he helps me to my feet and opens the door to the classroom (mercifully window-free), EVERY student is looking. I do know how to make an entrance, baby!
Friday, October 13, 2006
Look, over there, to your right!
I've fixed the Links part of my template, by giving it the old college try. Then banging my head on the desk. Then asking for help. Then it not really helping. Then, I gave up and changed the damn template, started over again, and viola! The linkies work.
Some of these blogs are my staples, and some of them I intended to make daily stops. I found them when my boss and coworker (or 2/3 of my office) were on vacation. And then my blog went batshit crazy, and I forgot about them. But! With much resolve, I will tackle expanding my blogging universe, again!
Am now taking suggestions- what blogs should I be reading?
Some of these blogs are my staples, and some of them I intended to make daily stops. I found them when my boss and coworker (or 2/3 of my office) were on vacation. And then my blog went batshit crazy, and I forgot about them. But! With much resolve, I will tackle expanding my blogging universe, again!
Am now taking suggestions- what blogs should I be reading?
Sunday, October 08, 2006
The Good Times are Killing Me
So, Kev's band played in NYC Friday night. It was fun fun fun, but I've realized how very old I've become. At 27, it now takes me two days to recover from staying out until 6am. I slept pretty much all day yesterday, and I'm still really slow and bleary-eyed right now. I have a lecture to write up, about 30 exams to grade (thank god I told them to give me a week!) and my bed is calling out seductively.
But I used to work at the deli for a 10 hour shift, standing, with no break (hello child labor laws!!) on about 2 hours of sleep. And then go out that night to repeat the cycle. And? I used to smoke a lot of doobage then, too!
I also realized how socially anxious I can get. I was FREAKING OUT about the number of people in the club. Holy crap, it was cramped and HOT in there! My sister came with us, and when she wasn't barfing in the bathroom (ten beers in the bus on the way up will do that to ya, I guess) she helped me to breathe through the fear. I am the worst. rockstar. wife. evah.
In other news, I've realized that I seem to always post on Mondays, then get wrapped up in the week and forget until Friday or Saturday. So I am now committed myself to being a long-weekend blogger, posting things on Fridays through Mondays and that will have to suffice for the week. I am not going to go all philosophical and quit blogging altogether (hey, I'm just now starting to teach, this is a WEALTH of material that grad school just didn't provide!!). I'm just going to realize my limitations- which, to be fair, have less to do with school and more to do with watching my nephew and playing with him, let's be honest!- and commit to something more do-able for me. I wish blogger had a "Publish on" button like typepad does. Meh, potato, potatoh. I hope you keep reading!*
*This is not a shameless call for sympathy or "Art Nerd, we love you" comments. I don't think. :)
But I used to work at the deli for a 10 hour shift, standing, with no break (hello child labor laws!!) on about 2 hours of sleep. And then go out that night to repeat the cycle. And? I used to smoke a lot of doobage then, too!
I also realized how socially anxious I can get. I was FREAKING OUT about the number of people in the club. Holy crap, it was cramped and HOT in there! My sister came with us, and when she wasn't barfing in the bathroom (ten beers in the bus on the way up will do that to ya, I guess) she helped me to breathe through the fear. I am the worst. rockstar. wife. evah.
In other news, I've realized that I seem to always post on Mondays, then get wrapped up in the week and forget until Friday or Saturday. So I am now committed myself to being a long-weekend blogger, posting things on Fridays through Mondays and that will have to suffice for the week. I am not going to go all philosophical and quit blogging altogether (hey, I'm just now starting to teach, this is a WEALTH of material that grad school just didn't provide!!). I'm just going to realize my limitations- which, to be fair, have less to do with school and more to do with watching my nephew and playing with him, let's be honest!- and commit to something more do-able for me. I wish blogger had a "Publish on" button like typepad does. Meh, potato, potatoh. I hope you keep reading!*
*This is not a shameless call for sympathy or "Art Nerd, we love you" comments. I don't think. :)
Technical Difficulties
If anyone knows why ALL THE DAMN LINKS on my posts and on the sidebar link to myblogyourblog, thusly not working, gimme a holler, okay? Thanks!
Saturday, October 07, 2006
What do NBA tattoos have to do with Egyptian Art? I'll tell you!
Gave my students an exam on Wednesday- a first for me! Oh my god, I was so nervous. I actually had to excuse myself from the exam (when only a few trustworthy girls were left in the room) to go to the bathroom. That nervous. They seem to have done well, at least my smaller first section did. Three As, three Bs, one D and two Fs. The two who failed have a story that is worthy of rate your students (thanks professordog for clueing me in to this site!) Something about lending out a copybook full of class notes, a soccer game very far away, and the resultant not studying (apparently not only on the part of he of the lost copybook, but also of the copybook captor).
The copybook captor is the same student who, for the first two weeks of class, would listen to my lecture with a horrible scowl on his face. I was sure he was listening to me talk, trying to gather clues as to which car I drive in order to slash my tires or something. Pure HATRED in his eyes. Then, at the end of class, he'd get up and say, "Thanks, prof, see you next time!" WTF? All nice and sociable like! Weirrrrrd.
I start teaching Egypt this week, and I am so amped for it. I LOVE this material, and it's so fun to teach. All the death and mythology and good stuff like that, added to the story of King Tut and how he wasn't really a pivotal historical figure, his tomb just happens to have survived, and my "think about the IMPLICATIONS of this little fact, people! What do we really know about the ancient world, who have we missed, just imagine!" spiel. And I get to show a photo of Rasheed Wallace, who has just about the coolest tattoo I've ever seen (besides Kev's, of course).
See, it's like the relief of Akhenaten, and he shows his children, which is an innovation of the Amarna style, and omg, this is such cool stuff, kids!!
I had a dream that they were all really really into my lecture. I hope so. It's unfortunate that this particular field of study doesn't lend itself too readily to really awesome interaction in the classroom, but hey, maybe if I come across as really enthusiastic, it'll rub off?
The copybook captor is the same student who, for the first two weeks of class, would listen to my lecture with a horrible scowl on his face. I was sure he was listening to me talk, trying to gather clues as to which car I drive in order to slash my tires or something. Pure HATRED in his eyes. Then, at the end of class, he'd get up and say, "Thanks, prof, see you next time!" WTF? All nice and sociable like! Weirrrrrd.
I start teaching Egypt this week, and I am so amped for it. I LOVE this material, and it's so fun to teach. All the death and mythology and good stuff like that, added to the story of King Tut and how he wasn't really a pivotal historical figure, his tomb just happens to have survived, and my "think about the IMPLICATIONS of this little fact, people! What do we really know about the ancient world, who have we missed, just imagine!" spiel. And I get to show a photo of Rasheed Wallace, who has just about the coolest tattoo I've ever seen (besides Kev's, of course).
See, it's like the relief of Akhenaten, and he shows his children, which is an innovation of the Amarna style, and omg, this is such cool stuff, kids!!
I had a dream that they were all really really into my lecture. I hope so. It's unfortunate that this particular field of study doesn't lend itself too readily to really awesome interaction in the classroom, but hey, maybe if I come across as really enthusiastic, it'll rub off?
Monday, October 02, 2006
Fun with email trickery
So I emailed them, and they break down as follows:
one student swears she sent it, some sort of "problem" with her "school email", but I did get it from another email address. hmmmm
two students completely forgot (points for blatant honesty almost cancel out deductions for lateness. Almost)
one left who I haven't yet heard from
So I guess I'm now the "nice" teacher, which I'm sure will translate into "walked all over", but thems the breaks, I guess. I'd still like to read Teacher Lady's brilliant comment-that-Beta-ate, but I went ahead with my gut, and for the most part it worked out.
What is it with people thinking I know nothing about email? I don't know that much about technology, but emails that are sent are usually received. The others aren't in my junk mail, and the university server or whatever did not eat them. Whatever, it's not the biggest deal, but I hate being thought of as stupid, ya know?
And another thing? Why do they insist on sending me email from hotchocolatelovin or rainbowbrite(year-these-youngins-were born.com)? They have perfectly good school sanctioned, boring ass emails for school type use. Even then, some of them change those aliases (aliai? aliae?) Anyway, please, college freshmen, I think you're fascinating, but I don't want to know which 80s cartoon character you identify with, and the ones with blatant sexual innuendo? PLEASE cease and desist! It's icky for me, more than you know. And this is the girl who relishes the chance to write the word "cunt" in papers to make her advisor sweat. This is saying something, y'all
one student swears she sent it, some sort of "problem" with her "school email", but I did get it from another email address. hmmmm
two students completely forgot (points for blatant honesty almost cancel out deductions for lateness. Almost)
one left who I haven't yet heard from
So I guess I'm now the "nice" teacher, which I'm sure will translate into "walked all over", but thems the breaks, I guess. I'd still like to read Teacher Lady's brilliant comment-that-Beta-ate, but I went ahead with my gut, and for the most part it worked out.
What is it with people thinking I know nothing about email? I don't know that much about technology, but emails that are sent are usually received. The others aren't in my junk mail, and the university server or whatever did not eat them. Whatever, it's not the biggest deal, but I hate being thought of as stupid, ya know?
And another thing? Why do they insist on sending me email from hotchocolatelovin or rainbowbrite(year-these-youngins-were born.com)? They have perfectly good school sanctioned, boring ass emails for school type use. Even then, some of them change those aliases (aliai? aliae?) Anyway, please, college freshmen, I think you're fascinating, but I don't want to know which 80s cartoon character you identify with, and the ones with blatant sexual innuendo? PLEASE cease and desist! It's icky for me, more than you know. And this is the girl who relishes the chance to write the word "cunt" in papers to make her advisor sweat. This is saying something, y'all
Sunday, October 01, 2006
What to do?
Good news about the OBSERVATION, everyone- I am not fired! And? I was offered another section to teach in the Spring!! Continuing what I'm teaching this semester, from I guess medieval to maybe Renaissance or Baroque architecture? I don't know. I'll get the syllabus soon. So that's 3 classes, I am officially booked for the Spring! And I will be being PAID, dollah dollah bills, y'all! I'm so excited
This week, I've been busy returning students' email. They had to send me their preliminary thesis statements for their semester-long project. I received most of them. However, there are 3 that haven't sent them in. I'm debating whether or not to email the students and ask them where their thesis statements are. But I don't want to be the kind of teacher who treats them like babies. It's not the biggest deal, I'll be taking points off the "professionalism" component of the rubric, and it doesn't weight too heavily on the grade.
So, readers (if I have any left, because, like I said, Blogging his hard, y'all!) what do you think? Of course I'll ask my supervisor, but just wanted some interwebnet opinions as well. I'm torn, because they don't need me to hover, but I don't want these students to do badly in my class. They need to pass this in order to continue, or they become a year off in the already 5 year program. I'm listening!
This week, I've been busy returning students' email. They had to send me their preliminary thesis statements for their semester-long project. I received most of them. However, there are 3 that haven't sent them in. I'm debating whether or not to email the students and ask them where their thesis statements are. But I don't want to be the kind of teacher who treats them like babies. It's not the biggest deal, I'll be taking points off the "professionalism" component of the rubric, and it doesn't weight too heavily on the grade.
So, readers (if I have any left, because, like I said, Blogging his hard, y'all!) what do you think? Of course I'll ask my supervisor, but just wanted some interwebnet opinions as well. I'm torn, because they don't need me to hover, but I don't want these students to do badly in my class. They need to pass this in order to continue, or they become a year off in the already 5 year program. I'm listening!
Monday, September 25, 2006
Nerves= completely wracked
So today was the EVALUATION. I was so nervous, the event certainly deserves all caps. It went fine, though not spectacular. Dept Head was only there about 15 minutes, and when I read the written eval, I'll keep that in mind. How well/shittly can I have done in a few minutes, really? This is my grain of salt.
My TA is a flake though. This is the second time I stayed after class to meet her, no big thing, I just wanted to say hi. Nada. Never called, no email now. I hope she makes my copies for me for Wednesday. If she keeps standing me up, I'm SO NOT buying her a Christmas present. For. Reals.
Kev got a tattoo today. It's ginormous. So big. I'll post a picture when he and his arm come home. I have decided that I am going to get my own tattoo, probably with this guy. I am worried, however, that I'll be allergic to the inks, seeing as how I can only use unscented soaps and detergent. Perhaps I shouldn't make a lifetime commitment to having a substance under my skin. Ya know, for eternity?
In other news, my Good Friend Andrew (formerly of Sheepshank) and his wife Nicole had a baby this weekend. It's a girl, named Kira Noelle Mariposa. She's beautiful, I can't wait to meet her. I have a link up to his blog, over on yonder table, but it's in some way all effed up. Any suggestions on what I did wrong/how to fix it, I'm all ears. Actually, all hair, I'm having the Frizz Problem again. Holy hell, my hairdresser needs to come back from vacation, doesn't she know that my appearance was the most stressful consideration of the EVALUATION today?!
My TA is a flake though. This is the second time I stayed after class to meet her, no big thing, I just wanted to say hi. Nada. Never called, no email now. I hope she makes my copies for me for Wednesday. If she keeps standing me up, I'm SO NOT buying her a Christmas present. For. Reals.
Kev got a tattoo today. It's ginormous. So big. I'll post a picture when he and his arm come home. I have decided that I am going to get my own tattoo, probably with this guy. I am worried, however, that I'll be allergic to the inks, seeing as how I can only use unscented soaps and detergent. Perhaps I shouldn't make a lifetime commitment to having a substance under my skin. Ya know, for eternity?
In other news, my Good Friend Andrew (formerly of Sheepshank) and his wife Nicole had a baby this weekend. It's a girl, named Kira Noelle Mariposa. She's beautiful, I can't wait to meet her. I have a link up to his blog, over on yonder table, but it's in some way all effed up. Any suggestions on what I did wrong/how to fix it, I'm all ears. Actually, all hair, I'm having the Frizz Problem again. Holy hell, my hairdresser needs to come back from vacation, doesn't she know that my appearance was the most stressful consideration of the EVALUATION today?!
Friday, September 22, 2006
Lauren's Secret
Well, the honeymoon's over, ladies and gentlemen. Whine whine whine, I have to be observed lecturing this coming Monday. Perhaps this is so my supervisor can make sure I'm not teaching the students to make bombs or hosting early-morning keg parties or something. I dunno. But he wants to do this in the next week or two. Dun dun dunnnnn.
Problem being:
Mon- I've planned a short-ish lecture on MesoAmerica (not at all my strongest subject, and sure to be lackluster in my performance)- followed by a quick run-through of the course site and a quizlet
Wed- review for exam
Mon after that- Yom Kippur- we're off
Wed- the exam
So, naturally, he took my suggestion of the Monday after that, (when I lecture about Egypt, and will be super dorkily into it) put in in a neat little box and packed it under his bed. He's coming on Mesoamerica Monday, and I now have to weekend to fill out my lecture.
Owww, agita. But! I am going to buy a new and professionalish looking shirt for the occasion, and perhaps new shoes as well.
So here it is, a previously well-kept secret I have for boosting confidence when presenting. Sexy underwear. Because then, right there, you have an advantage over everyone else in the room, who do not know about your cute booty! Far better than imagining the audience naked, which, given their ages, seems more inappropriate than bomb making and keggers, by a long shot.
Problem being:
Mon- I've planned a short-ish lecture on MesoAmerica (not at all my strongest subject, and sure to be lackluster in my performance)- followed by a quick run-through of the course site and a quizlet
Wed- review for exam
Mon after that- Yom Kippur- we're off
Wed- the exam
So, naturally, he took my suggestion of the Monday after that, (when I lecture about Egypt, and will be super dorkily into it) put in in a neat little box and packed it under his bed. He's coming on Mesoamerica Monday, and I now have to weekend to fill out my lecture.
Owww, agita. But! I am going to buy a new and professionalish looking shirt for the occasion, and perhaps new shoes as well.
So here it is, a previously well-kept secret I have for boosting confidence when presenting. Sexy underwear. Because then, right there, you have an advantage over everyone else in the room, who do not know about your cute booty! Far better than imagining the audience naked, which, given their ages, seems more inappropriate than bomb making and keggers, by a long shot.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Blogging is, like, totally hard sometimes!
Argh! Don't worry, I am not signing off or anything, but I have been very very scattered recently. I have to get into a routine, and while it's starting to come together, I haven't made time for blogging in a bit. Or studying for prelims, but oh well!
RE the groundhog- his name is Henry and I may have made my peace with him. We'll see, as long as he stops going nose to nose with my cat!
RE the teaching- have had a couple of good classes, but rightthissecond, am freaking the fuck out. My boss would like to observe me, and I hate hate hate that. And what's worse, he wants to do this in the next two weeks. Well, in two weeks on Wednesday(my natural inclination to be putting it off as far as possible!) I'm giving an exam. Monday is Yom Kippur, and we have the day off (wow! A religious holiday, something my own fine institution would nevah grant!). Okay, so that's out. Next Wednesday is the review session/ "how to write a thesis because omg that part of our project is due on Friday- shit!" workshop. So that leaves Monday. As in 4 days from now. And? AND?! I'm lecturing on Mesoamerica, something I know precious little about. And I am going to give a practice test. Bah! So this is conceivably one of my rockier lectures, and he wants to observe me then? Ohhhh noooooo!!
I finally got them to talk today, which was very nice. I'm going to start doing this every class, because now that I'm more comfortable with them, I want to get to know them. I am getting better about waiting for them to talk. I feel a little like they're testing me, and I don't think they know the infinite patience I possess. I will win.
And since this section of the class is my weakest area, I've been preparing for class a LOT. Very dependant on my notes, which totally frickin sucks, but I can't do much about that. I can't WAIT! to start teaching stuff that I'm more familiar with. But I like this teaching thing, all in all. It's tough sometimes, but I can admit now that I was deathly afraid that I'd get to this class and realize that I had wasted my time in grad school. I want to be better for them, and though I'm more than a little afraid of the criticism I'll receive (in this observation and in the course evals), I have to do it so I can be better for them.
outro- sappy orchestral music, and the audience chants- Laur-en, Laur-en, Laur-en (a la Ru-dy, Ru-dy, Ru-dy. Except I'm not a not-too-bright but very nice football player. Or something)
RE the groundhog- his name is Henry and I may have made my peace with him. We'll see, as long as he stops going nose to nose with my cat!
RE the teaching- have had a couple of good classes, but rightthissecond, am freaking the fuck out. My boss would like to observe me, and I hate hate hate that. And what's worse, he wants to do this in the next two weeks. Well, in two weeks on Wednesday(my natural inclination to be putting it off as far as possible!) I'm giving an exam. Monday is Yom Kippur, and we have the day off (wow! A religious holiday, something my own fine institution would nevah grant!). Okay, so that's out. Next Wednesday is the review session/ "how to write a thesis because omg that part of our project is due on Friday- shit!" workshop. So that leaves Monday. As in 4 days from now. And? AND?! I'm lecturing on Mesoamerica, something I know precious little about. And I am going to give a practice test. Bah! So this is conceivably one of my rockier lectures, and he wants to observe me then? Ohhhh noooooo!!
I finally got them to talk today, which was very nice. I'm going to start doing this every class, because now that I'm more comfortable with them, I want to get to know them. I am getting better about waiting for them to talk. I feel a little like they're testing me, and I don't think they know the infinite patience I possess. I will win.
And since this section of the class is my weakest area, I've been preparing for class a LOT. Very dependant on my notes, which totally frickin sucks, but I can't do much about that. I can't WAIT! to start teaching stuff that I'm more familiar with. But I like this teaching thing, all in all. It's tough sometimes, but I can admit now that I was deathly afraid that I'd get to this class and realize that I had wasted my time in grad school. I want to be better for them, and though I'm more than a little afraid of the criticism I'll receive (in this observation and in the course evals), I have to do it so I can be better for them.
outro- sappy orchestral music, and the audience chants- Laur-en, Laur-en, Laur-en (a la Ru-dy, Ru-dy, Ru-dy. Except I'm not a not-too-bright but very nice football player. Or something)
Monday, September 11, 2006
So not a nature girl
I've lived in the city of Philadelphia all of my life. In fact, I've lived in the same zip code for most of my 27 years. I am very much a city girl. This fact became blazingly apparent when my boss started looking for a house. Being of suburban origin, herself, she became interested in lot sizes and the elaborateness of the yard (art historian, can make up own words, remember?). I'm all, "why?" Because stuff like that is not really important to me- ya know, trees and grass and stuff.
This being said, I have to say that there is just one thing about living in the current house we have that disturbs me. In general, living in a single house has many advantages over living in a rowhome. For instance, I can vaccuum at whatever time I want to, I'll only disturb those who live in the house with me. And I can also build any furniture at any time, for the same reason.
The ginormo lawn at this house doesn't bother me too much, nor does the pear tree in my neighbor's yard that shits little pears everywhere.
Rather, it is the vicious little creature that steals the pears. We have a groundhog, y'all. For serious. Bill Murray/Andie MacDowell action up on our street, and this ain't Punxatawney. It's the strangest looking animal I've ever encountered, and it bothers my cat when she's in the yard.
Seriously, why do I have to share my yard with this?
Please, send help
This being said, I have to say that there is just one thing about living in the current house we have that disturbs me. In general, living in a single house has many advantages over living in a rowhome. For instance, I can vaccuum at whatever time I want to, I'll only disturb those who live in the house with me. And I can also build any furniture at any time, for the same reason.
The ginormo lawn at this house doesn't bother me too much, nor does the pear tree in my neighbor's yard that shits little pears everywhere.
Rather, it is the vicious little creature that steals the pears. We have a groundhog, y'all. For serious. Bill Murray/Andie MacDowell action up on our street, and this ain't Punxatawney. It's the strangest looking animal I've ever encountered, and it bothers my cat when she's in the yard.
Seriously, why do I have to share my yard with this?
Please, send help
Friday, September 08, 2006
Tidbits of fun
There are quite a few things I've been meaning to write about, but right now I am at my only normal job. This might be one of the tidbits, which will commence, in list form, startinggggg....now.
1. I've acquired the supposedly extra-cash gig of watching my nephew on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I haven't gotten paid yet, but it's very fun. Except when he has an earache. Which he did yesterday. This lead to the bizzarre event of me reaching in my bag today and pulling out a (clean, for goodness' sake!) diaper. I DON'T HAVE A KID. But I do have a carseat. And apparently, the means to change said kid I don't have, should the need arise.
2. I picked up the two copies of my thesis that I had library bound. I look like a REAL writer, woo hoo! I may take photos, if I can find a way to blur out my last name and the university (ya know, teh interwebnet crazies and all) and still have an interesting image.
3. I gave a really boring ass lecture on Wednesday. I felt like a turd standing up there, all blah blah blah. (Hey, did you know that there are no pictures available of Charlie Brown's teacher that I could post here? Weird! Did we ever see her? I recall shoes, at least.) Nevah again! Luckily, there aren't too many lectures that I have to give that I know nothing about- Native American architecture is Monday, but it's a little more understandable to me, and I'll be more animated if I have to have espresso delivered by IV!!
4. There's a guy in my first section who stares at me the whole time I'm talking. I think he thinks I'm the biggest idiot in the whole wide world. Hatred, I tell you. Then, when we're finished? Thanks me and tells me to have a good day. CRAZY! I know.
Well, that may be all. No one will ever read this blog if I don't get in the habit of posting something (awesome) every day. Blah! Off to WholeFoods for lunch! Viva las organicas! Or something
1. I've acquired the supposedly extra-cash gig of watching my nephew on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I haven't gotten paid yet, but it's very fun. Except when he has an earache. Which he did yesterday. This lead to the bizzarre event of me reaching in my bag today and pulling out a (clean, for goodness' sake!) diaper. I DON'T HAVE A KID. But I do have a carseat. And apparently, the means to change said kid I don't have, should the need arise.
2. I picked up the two copies of my thesis that I had library bound. I look like a REAL writer, woo hoo! I may take photos, if I can find a way to blur out my last name and the university (ya know, teh interwebnet crazies and all) and still have an interesting image.
3. I gave a really boring ass lecture on Wednesday. I felt like a turd standing up there, all blah blah blah. (Hey, did you know that there are no pictures available of Charlie Brown's teacher that I could post here? Weird! Did we ever see her? I recall shoes, at least.) Nevah again! Luckily, there aren't too many lectures that I have to give that I know nothing about- Native American architecture is Monday, but it's a little more understandable to me, and I'll be more animated if I have to have espresso delivered by IV!!
4. There's a guy in my first section who stares at me the whole time I'm talking. I think he thinks I'm the biggest idiot in the whole wide world. Hatred, I tell you. Then, when we're finished? Thanks me and tells me to have a good day. CRAZY! I know.
Well, that may be all. No one will ever read this blog if I don't get in the habit of posting something (awesome) every day. Blah! Off to WholeFoods for lunch! Viva las organicas! Or something
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
First Lecture
Gave my very first lecture today. Guess which of the following happened-
a. I got soap on my shirt before my lecture. This also happened before the first class
b. Got a little tongue-tied
c. My voice became froggy
d. I tripped over a length of cord
e. I made this image comparison:
f. Reminded students that I grade their exams and projects- it would behoove them to laugh at my jokes
g. Totally fell in love with teaching. Until someone falls asleep that is!
If you answered all of the above, you are correct. And creative, because it wasn't even a choice! I think I like my new job. I mean, I'll be better when I can talk about the Greeks and Romans. There isn't a whole lot to say about Paleo- and Neolithic art. Not enough to fill up an hour and fifteen minutes, anyhow. Oh man, gob help the students when I get to Rome, though!
happy happy happy
a. I got soap on my shirt before my lecture. This also happened before the first class
b. Got a little tongue-tied
c. My voice became froggy
d. I tripped over a length of cord
e. I made this image comparison:
f. Reminded students that I grade their exams and projects- it would behoove them to laugh at my jokes
g. Totally fell in love with teaching. Until someone falls asleep that is!
If you answered all of the above, you are correct. And creative, because it wasn't even a choice! I think I like my new job. I mean, I'll be better when I can talk about the Greeks and Romans. There isn't a whole lot to say about Paleo- and Neolithic art. Not enough to fill up an hour and fifteen minutes, anyhow. Oh man, gob help the students when I get to Rome, though!
happy happy happy
Monday, August 28, 2006
Professor Nerd if you're nasty!
Okay, so here you go, a photo of me on my ver first day. Do I look official? And, Heatheradair can you tell that a boy took the special shot of my shoes for you? Dorkus, you can't even see the fun cork wedges. And my feet are, in real life, really small for my height- why do they look ginormous here?
Anyway, I may have forgotten to share, but I came up with an idea for the last page of my syllabus. I asked the students to fill out some standard questions, and then had them sign a sort of contract. It states that they've reviewed the syllabus and are aware of their responsibilities, policies pertaining to them, etc. Steal my idea if you want, I don't mind!
One of the questions asked them their class status. Uh, there are 9 students in my first section, and most of them are sophomores (1 transfer, one freshman).
THEY ALL SPELLED SOPHOMORE WRONG. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
There were a few sophomores in the second section, and some of them spelled it right. But in a class of 9, there's nowhere to hide.
And we're off!! Let the academic silliness begin!
Sunday, August 27, 2006
T minus 10 hours...
Have you ever been nervous because you aren't nervous enough? It's not to say that I'm not at all nervous. But I'm not, like, freaking out about tomorrow. Yet. Probably as my head hits the pillow, it'll come over me.
The same thing happened on my wedding day. I was so calm and collected. I even forgot to print out copies of the readings, because I was sitting and gabbing with my bridesmaids. That is, until I got to the back of the church with my dad and the flower girls. Then, this happened...
I hope I don't look this scared tomorrow. I was one hundred percent sure that I was doing the right thing by marrying Kev. This whole teaching tomorrow's leaders thing, who knows?
The same thing happened on my wedding day. I was so calm and collected. I even forgot to print out copies of the readings, because I was sitting and gabbing with my bridesmaids. That is, until I got to the back of the church with my dad and the flower girls. Then, this happened...
I hope I don't look this scared tomorrow. I was one hundred percent sure that I was doing the right thing by marrying Kev. This whole teaching tomorrow's leaders thing, who knows?
Friday, August 25, 2006
It's all the Coco Krispies' fault!
Ladies and gentlemen, my ass is dragging today. I woke up late for work, but somehow managed to stop to fill up my monster rental car's tank (jeebus, 50 bucks, and I got the damn thing with 3/4 of a tank! On Monday! And I didn't go anywhere!) I got into work about 10 minute later than normal.
However, the fog that I woke up in made me make a terrible choice for breakfast. Coco Krispies. Because I am eight and I like cavities, okay? I think my blood sugar must have bottomed out, because it's only 12:15 and I am ready for bed.
It could also be that I stayed up late last night to catch the first hour of a festering turd of a movie. Mona Lisa Smile, have you seen it? I mean, strike one is the presence of the always lackluster, completely insipid Kirsten Dunst. I've hated her since I saw her on Teen Celebrity Jeopardy quite a few years ago. She is dumb as a bag of hair, y'all. Strike two was the cheesy plot- art history professor changes the face of Wellsley, in some weird way. I dunno, predicable much? And strike three was the resultant nightmare I had, in which I got to my first class of Architecture and the students knew more than me. Eff you and your thousands of sparkly teeth, Julia Roberts.
I wanted to like this movie. It let me down, big time. I'd seen the end before, but was interested to see if the crappy ending had a mitigating first half. I guess I don't have to tell you it didn't. And it's not that I have very high standards for movies, it's just that I don't want to be preached at, even with a message I agree with. And also, that Pollock was SO FAKE. Yes, you can tell. ew.
But Maggie Gyllenhaal- might have a bit of a girlcrush on her. A double header of that and Frida, starring the woman I'd definitely turn lesbian for, might be a special and magical night.
I can't wait to get home. Kev needs to take a picture of me, because today, I am dressed as the quintessential art history professor. I look silly, and feel the need to share it with y'all. Till then!
However, the fog that I woke up in made me make a terrible choice for breakfast. Coco Krispies. Because I am eight and I like cavities, okay? I think my blood sugar must have bottomed out, because it's only 12:15 and I am ready for bed.
It could also be that I stayed up late last night to catch the first hour of a festering turd of a movie. Mona Lisa Smile, have you seen it? I mean, strike one is the presence of the always lackluster, completely insipid Kirsten Dunst. I've hated her since I saw her on Teen Celebrity Jeopardy quite a few years ago. She is dumb as a bag of hair, y'all. Strike two was the cheesy plot- art history professor changes the face of Wellsley, in some weird way. I dunno, predicable much? And strike three was the resultant nightmare I had, in which I got to my first class of Architecture and the students knew more than me. Eff you and your thousands of sparkly teeth, Julia Roberts.
I wanted to like this movie. It let me down, big time. I'd seen the end before, but was interested to see if the crappy ending had a mitigating first half. I guess I don't have to tell you it didn't. And it's not that I have very high standards for movies, it's just that I don't want to be preached at, even with a message I agree with. And also, that Pollock was SO FAKE. Yes, you can tell. ew.
But Maggie Gyllenhaal- might have a bit of a girlcrush on her. A double header of that and Frida, starring the woman I'd definitely turn lesbian for, might be a special and magical night.
I can't wait to get home. Kev needs to take a picture of me, because today, I am dressed as the quintessential art history professor. I look silly, and feel the need to share it with y'all. Till then!
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
No, not dead! Just lazy!
Man, I wish I could say that I was busy writing lectures and syllabi, etc etc, and that's why I haven't written. The truth, though? Block. I hate it, but there it is. I haven't felt much like writing the last week or so.
But! Let's remedy this right now. I'll tell a story. A story about a rental car, and a dream crushed.
I am covered for most of the cost of a rental car for the time that my own baby is in the shop. The guy from Enterprise picked me up from the shop on Monday in the CRAPPIEST car ever. It was dirty, polleny and completely covered in bird shit. And it was beyond micro- a Kia Spectra. Shudder.
When we got back to the place, and I was signing my life over, the kid asked if I wanted an upgrade- to a Jeep Liberty. uh, yeah! So yay, for the same price I got this gigantic tank of a car, and it's super souped up. I left the moonroof thingy on vent today so it's not too hot. Leather seats get pretty hot sitting in the parking lot.
Anyway, while I was waiting, the guy and I were chit chatting. He asked if I have to go back to work. Yes, I do, I'm out at XXX school of art. Oh, he says, part of blank University, right? Yes. Then, get this, he says:
DO YOU TEACH THERE?
sniff. sniff sniff sniffle.
I have been psyching myself up all summer, thinking that the students won't know I'm the professor when I walk in. And this jerkweed guesses right away?
booo hooo!!
*stomps foot, pouts*
All was righted when the Slide Librarian mistook me for a student (an undergrad at that!) at the school where I'll be teaching.
Starting Monday.
Be prepared for freakouts, and some amusing Teacher Lady -esque stories.
You've been warned.
But! Let's remedy this right now. I'll tell a story. A story about a rental car, and a dream crushed.
I am covered for most of the cost of a rental car for the time that my own baby is in the shop. The guy from Enterprise picked me up from the shop on Monday in the CRAPPIEST car ever. It was dirty, polleny and completely covered in bird shit. And it was beyond micro- a Kia Spectra. Shudder.
When we got back to the place, and I was signing my life over, the kid asked if I wanted an upgrade- to a Jeep Liberty. uh, yeah! So yay, for the same price I got this gigantic tank of a car, and it's super souped up. I left the moonroof thingy on vent today so it's not too hot. Leather seats get pretty hot sitting in the parking lot.
Anyway, while I was waiting, the guy and I were chit chatting. He asked if I have to go back to work. Yes, I do, I'm out at XXX school of art. Oh, he says, part of blank University, right? Yes. Then, get this, he says:
DO YOU TEACH THERE?
sniff. sniff sniff sniffle.
I have been psyching myself up all summer, thinking that the students won't know I'm the professor when I walk in. And this jerkweed guesses right away?
booo hooo!!
*stomps foot, pouts*
All was righted when the Slide Librarian mistook me for a student (an undergrad at that!) at the school where I'll be teaching.
Starting Monday.
Be prepared for freakouts, and some amusing Teacher Lady -esque stories.
You've been warned.
Monday, August 14, 2006
The trifecta is complete
As you all know, I crashed my car Wednesday. On Friday, on the way home from work, I got a call from Kev. Rarrrr, the car won't start, blahhhh.
Shit! Two cars in one week, surely ye jest? No, it's true. But, thanks gob, the problem was not nearly as bad as the one I imagined as I sat, overreacting, at the dinner table. But an aside to any mechanics/tow-truck drivers- you might not want to ask a sissy girl like me to "put your finger here, I'm going to start the car up. Lemme know if you feel anything."
HUH? I'm sorry, What? Have you lost your mind? This girl, she worked for 10 years at a deli and never once touched a slicer. She's just that clumsy/non-mechanical/accident-prone.
But I did it. And a stupid wire came loose, and it cost like 38 bucks to fix. Score!
So, that's two things that I own and operate that went kerflooey this week. Partied this weekend with the BIL and his new wife, them of the Kansas wedding. Big blowout in which my mom played beer pong, and WON! Weird.
Came into work this morning, and am greeted with, "what'd ya do the computer?"
Uh-oh. I didn't do anything, of course, but I was the last to use it. Because I was alone, all aloooone last week. They come back with tans, I have a busted up car, a barely-still-running car, and now, one effed up work computer. And really pale skin, let's not forget that. With the remnants of 3 pimples from putting sunscreen on my face. Be ye not so stupid- buy something specifically for your face if you don't want Edgar the monster cyst chillin on your cheek for a while.
Now we're down to 2 computers for the three of us. Something about system logic? I don't know.
Isn't school starting in, like, 2 weeks? NO FAIR! I am officially pissed because we had no fun vacation. Is it too late to go away now? And, anyone have a sofa we could crash on?
Shit! Two cars in one week, surely ye jest? No, it's true. But, thanks gob, the problem was not nearly as bad as the one I imagined as I sat, overreacting, at the dinner table. But an aside to any mechanics/tow-truck drivers- you might not want to ask a sissy girl like me to "put your finger here, I'm going to start the car up. Lemme know if you feel anything."
HUH? I'm sorry, What? Have you lost your mind? This girl, she worked for 10 years at a deli and never once touched a slicer. She's just that clumsy/non-mechanical/accident-prone.
But I did it. And a stupid wire came loose, and it cost like 38 bucks to fix. Score!
So, that's two things that I own and operate that went kerflooey this week. Partied this weekend with the BIL and his new wife, them of the Kansas wedding. Big blowout in which my mom played beer pong, and WON! Weird.
Came into work this morning, and am greeted with, "what'd ya do the computer?"
Uh-oh. I didn't do anything, of course, but I was the last to use it. Because I was alone, all aloooone last week. They come back with tans, I have a busted up car, a barely-still-running car, and now, one effed up work computer. And really pale skin, let's not forget that. With the remnants of 3 pimples from putting sunscreen on my face. Be ye not so stupid- buy something specifically for your face if you don't want Edgar the monster cyst chillin on your cheek for a while.
Now we're down to 2 computers for the three of us. Something about system logic? I don't know.
Isn't school starting in, like, 2 weeks? NO FAIR! I am officially pissed because we had no fun vacation. Is it too late to go away now? And, anyone have a sofa we could crash on?
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