Best purchase at the Target dollar spot, ever

When I became a professor, I decided that I'd be the cool professor who carried a stapler with her. I mean, hey, I like office supplies, and a stapler is a very nice thing to own, right?

I thought I'd lend it out to people who had taken their test apart (why do they do this?) Maybe some people would try to hand me an unstapled paper. Then maybe I'd charge them for the use of said stapler. An old trick I learned from the IHM nuns who taught in my school.

I never in a million years thought I'd have to use it to staple my pants shut. On the second day of class. And this particular pair of pants was already a bit big (thankyaverymuch, 8 year old cousin who suggested it was for the opposite reason that I lost my button). I've never been so scared; luckily I managed to spare my student the sight of my ass. For now.

I do as I'm told

Teacher Lady over at Sex Ed in Higher Ed hath decreed this week to be National Blog About Your Favorite Low-Profile or Underrated Actor Week. I kind of miss doing assignments, so here goes my submission:

You must know by now that I am a complete whore for HBO series. The exceptions being the Wire (too sad) and Deadwood (too western, cocksucker). You may recall how I walked around dazed for a few days with the end of Six Feet Under. One might expect this entry to further celebrate my love for Peter Krause, who played Nate in the series.

That's where you're wrong. Not because my crush has died, but because I'm going further underground than that critically-acclaimed, mucho-celebrated series. My new favorite show on HBO is Rome, and it is mostly due to the fine acting skillz (see, mixing the high and the low culture there...) of one Mr. Kevin McKidd.


Love this guy. I love that his natural speaking voice is a thick Scottish brogue. (Scots have brogues, right? Or is that the Irish? I AM Irish-American, I should know this stuff!!) I love his strawberry blonde hair, whic really sets him apart from the rest of the cast, who are mostly Italian or English. Also, I love his character in the show.

He was in many other movies, of which I've only seen Trainspotting. Now, call me what you will, but I really only needed to see that movie once. I just know that Kevin McKidd played the soccer player. I'll never watch it again, even if you tell me that he AND Ewan MacGregor are naked, together, in the film. Even then. i'm that serious.


I love the way he plays the character of Lucius Vorenus, and his relationship with his best friend Titus Pullo. The Augustan period is one that I've studied in-depth, so I know a lot of the history that goes along with it (although I am not one of those dorks on IMDB that points out historical inaccuracies or anything). Vorenus' journey, which parallels Caesar's in the first season and Octavian's in the second, is less familiar. He's taken a dramatic turn from upstanding family man to evil "son of hades" collegium head (collegium is the mafia of antiquity). Seriously.

It also doesn't hurt that his now deceased wife is SMOKIN hot.


homina-homina. Their relationship was tender and sensitive and wonderfully played.

So, ya'll, watch Rome and see my friend Kevin McKidd. I promise that if they renew it for another season because of the surge in viewership this post is sure to cause, I will have a Rome viewing party at my house. Or I will continue to gush about the series here on Mondays. One or the other!

um, hello, blogger?

On Tuesday, I wrote a whole post on my new pain-in-the-ass weeding out addition to my first day of class activities. A half-page questionairre that asks for the usual info and a carefully worded- Anything else I need to know? It'll take a while to figure out, but I'm going to tentatively say that it worked.

I know it's hard to imagine, but Blogger seems to have eaten it. It's gone. It was good, too! I told you about my two new least favorite words- Senior Scholar. Translated- an old person who comes to your class to test the limits of both your patience and your knowledge of the subject area. And? This person is in both of the classes I teach at my own school.

But you can't read it. Gone! Poof!

I've been trying to write an entry about how I'm the hottest professor ever, anywhere, but I can't concentrate right now. There's a concert going on behind me. My 8 year old cousin is over, and she's absolutely LOVING Karaoke Revolution Party. But mostly loving hearing her own voice projected through the television. If I ever hear "Play that Funky Music, White Boy" or Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me" again, it'll be too soon. Send help. Or ear plugs

The dreaded document

I'll admit it. I've been pretty sunshine-and-roses about the whole teaching thing. There is one thing I really hate about it.

Writing the syllabus.

I hate doing this. I've been "at it" (and by at it, I mean reading other people's blogs, chatting with friends, and being in the general vicinity of the computer without actually typing anything) for a few days now. I have one completely finished, but it doesn't really count because someone who has taught the class before forwarded me his syllabus, and I changed all instances of his name to mine, and fixed the dates to relate to this year. I've completed the course outline for the second syllabus, and the third? Well, the outline is filled out in relation to the dates the class will be meeting, anyway.

Of course, this is all kinds of bad, because I've left to last the syllabus I'm designing myself. I have some syllabi from other schools that I'm using for reading assignments and things like that, but of course I'll skew it to artists I know a little something about.

God, I hate doing this. The worst part is the introduction to the syllabus, or the "cover your ass section" as I like to call it. I have some re-wording to do of last semester's syllabus. I feel like I have to clearly state everything, and have a policy in place for just about every excuse and mistake that can be made.

Late paper? 5 point deduction for each day late. But does that include weekend days? I don't know. working on that one.
Miss an exam? Must contact me before the exam starts by email in order to begin arrangements. Working pretty well. Stole it from one of my favorite profs.
Attendance? Now see, this one is rough. I don't care if they come to class or not. Really, I don't. But there is a 10 per cent part of their grades that is based on attendance. But I don't like to keep roll, this ain't high school, ladies. So I'm also still working on this one.

I fear a growing syllabus. I also fear not covering something and have it throw me. And mutinies and people barfing in class. Among other fears. But this part of the semester is the worst part.

Except for the part when I have already made 30 copies of the syllabus and find that I've, oh, maybe, spelled my own name wrong. That may or may not have happened.

I think I'm cute, anyway.

It seems that, much like I am with my myspace account, I am a taker, not a giver.

Wait, that sounds wrong.

But I like it. Deal!

Anyway. I love reading other people's blogs. Love. It. And I guess I feel pretty un-interesting in comparison. Or something. Just like I love to collect friends on myspace and never write to them. Unless I need something.

Oh well, new year, time to start over. But there really hasn't been much to report! Unless you want to know about the hellacious cold I had between Christmas and New Year's Day. The one that seems to be coming back right. now.

Oh, I did have a moment that could be loosely dubbed as academic, since, remember, wikipedia counts this joint as an academic blog and all. Ahem. I am not rated on ratemyprofessors. And I am sad. I think I secretly wished for a chili pepper or two. I AM CUTE DAMMIT!!

I wish you all could see the one rating I got on myspace though. Well, those of my readers who know me in real life can certainly find it. Anyway, I am, apparantly, amusing with my high heels and corny jokes. I am also accomodating *read: a pushover* and I understand that the little dears have other classes that are MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY OWN.

Huh? What?

Lovely. I really want that kind of reputation. Obviously the review came from earlier in the semester, or this child is extremely unobservant. Perhaps they mistook the hobbling I did because of my cast for hobbling in high heels. So perhaps I am not dealing with someone whose critique, if not anonymous, I would value anyway.

I don't know. I just want a damn cherry pepper.