Hello? Is it my cheesy love song CD you're looking for?

So, ladies and gentlemen, this is my playlist for my entry into Frema's Hello? Is it my Cheesy Love Song CD You're Looking For? CD swap. I posted the list a while ago, but am editing it on Wednesday, December 6th, with the rationalizations, erm, I mean, REASONS for their inclusion.
I Wanna Be Your Lover- Prince
Don't ya just love Prince? This song is excellent, with a corny disco-infused, skippy beat. Featured on Art Nerd and Kev Dawg's Wedding CD, disc 1. (What, only two volumes? I know, I disappoint myself!)

For Once In My Life- Stevie Wonder
Stevie, Stevie, Stevie. This song is lovely, but the wall of sound-style production really is what lends this song the cheese. Holy backup singers, batman!

I'll Be There For You- Bon Jovi
I live on the border of New Jersey, remember (well, they live on the border of us, really). The high note near the end, the lyrics- I hear your suitcase say goodbye? Livin on a Prayer was too obvious, but this song, I really thought Jon Bon was singing to me.

Brilliant Disguise- Bruce Springsteen
Again, it's the Jersey thing. A Jersey two-fer. No, really, I like Springsteen a lot, and for something that came out in the late eighties (I think? Tunnel of Love album, anyone?) it isn't too bad. Dragging out the word disguise to about eight syllables is quite a feat. Plus, claves!

Just What I Needed- The Cars
I am probably the only person in the world who identifies herself as a Cars fan. Damn circuit city for putting this song in an ad.

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic- The Police
The Police are one of my bestest favorite bands. Love love love. This song is sweet and cute, but reeks of selling out. Plus, my dad used to always sing the part about "It's a big enough umbrella, but it's always me that ends up... getting weeeetttt!" I think "magic" here is code for "bitchy".

Big Me- Foo Fighters
A Mentos commercial for a video. Enough said.

Sweet Child O' Mine- Guns N' Roses
I really thought Axl was singing this song to me. Regardless of the fact that I have eyes of the hazel-est erm, hazel, not of the bluest skies.

I Want You Back- The Jackson 5
Michael, before he got weird. Plus, how cute is this beat- just try not to dance, just try!!

Do You Believe In Magic- The Lovin' Spoonful
And it's magic, if the music is groovy,It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie

All Night Long [All Night]- Lionel Richie
I don't know what's worse- the jeri curl or the fake african babbling. I think it's fake, anyway. Dude, the contest is named after him, how could I not?

The Way You Make Me Feel- Michael Jackson
Okay, Michael was a little weird here, but still looked human. Plus do we really think Michael Jackson was turned on by a girl? Don't buy it!

Every Rose Has Its Thorn- Poison
I thought this song was soooo deep when I was younger. And I was really enthralled with Bret Michaels, because I knew he is diabetic. This obsession began with Stacey from the Babysitter's Club. Blame Ann M Martin

I Want to Know What Love Is- Foreigner
Like you don't love this. Totally belt-out-able in the car.

Here I Go Again On My Own- Whitesnake
'Cos I know what it means, to walk along a lonely street of dreams? Cheese to the max, ladies and gentlemen.

I Got You Babe- Sonny & Cher
Art Nerd and Kev Dog's wedding song. For reals. Who cares if they later divorced, and separately became a drag-queen icon and a Senator who died tragically and in unfortunately slightly comical circumstances. And that I imagine Dorothy and Sophia singing this song dressed up for a mother-daughter pagaent on Golden Girls. Love!

Holiday- Weezer
Weezer was the soundtrack to my college years. And this song is SO RHYMY.

Two Steps Behind (Acoustic Version)- Def Leppard
Def Leppard is the most produced band, like, ever. And I love them for it. Plus, this song plays over the ending credits of my favorite music-related made-for-tv movie- Def Leppard Story: Hysteria. Yes it is available on DVD, and there are only 19 shopping days left, y'all!

And there it is. Hopefully everyone will get their CDs soon. I am That Participant, the one who's sent everything out late, because I suck and my brain has turned to mush.

All right, all right, so Christmas time IS here!

Okay, okay, I know I said I wasn't in the holiday spirit, and wasn't planning on forcing it until December rolls around (still 2 days left of November and all). BUT! My nephew started a love affair with a new movie. We sat and watched Charlie Brown Christmas about 7 times today. He loves when Snoopy skates, and dances, and when the kids are all dancing to the song Linus and Lucy, oh man do we breaks it down. (An aside- I LOVE little kid dancing, which usually consists of the sticking out of big diapered butt and bouncing. Sigh, I want one. A baby, not a diapered butt, I'm a little young for that!)


The best part is that he calls the movie Shoo-pie. Which is both a strangely adorable mispronunciation of Snoopy's name and further confirmation that my sister gave birth to Cartman from South Park. You just have to hear his voice.

So I got to thinking about holiday time movies that I like. My all time favorite, which I watched tonight with my sister, is Scrooged-



Come on, Bill Murray, eighties capitalism, and a feel-good ending where the hard-hearted exec comes to Jesus, er, gets the Christmas spirit? ME LIKEY! It reminds me of when I was in 6th grade and had mono over Christmas. I know, I know, big slut ho. I have no idea how I got it, seeing as how I didn't even kiss anyone till later in the year. The other thing that reminds me of having mono is the movie Silkwood, which scared the bejeebus out of me when I wasn't feverish, and which my mom made me watch. I was very dramatic in those days, and was sure I was dying of radiation poisoning. Between that, the way I felt and the smell of the eggroll my mom had microwaved, I never wanted to curl up and die more in my life. So far ;)

Holy tangent, batman! Tell me, fair readers, what are your favorite Christmassy-type movies?

Oh the weather outside is... actually nice!

I keep feeling this intense urge to go Christmas shopping. I feel panicked, because given the duration of the Christmas commercials' running on TV, it must be getting close. What should I get my MIL? What can I tell her that I want? Is this going to be a well received gift idea? Who am I forgetting? What about my flaky TA? And Kev, whose birthday is just days after Christmas? deep breath.

Then I look at the calendar, and for Christ's sake, it's STILLL November!

Honestly, is this Christmas season going to be interminable or what?! Neighbors have had lights up for weeks. Practically speaking, it makes sense for us, who actually do have wintry weather for Christmas, to put the lights up before it gets too cold out. It's been nice, and even my parents are going to put up lights this week, chronic procrastinators that they are. But the next logical step is not to light said lights, because it's not even December yet! Some of these people, no joke, have had their lights lit since after Halloween.

CRAZY TALK, I'm telling you.

I have bought about 4 gifts so far. But only because my mom makes me shop with her on Black Friday weekend. The only decorations up right now are the blue snowflake gellie things that stained my walls last year, so they remained until I can find the paint to touch the stains up. Oh, and some snowflake window clings that are on the "entertainment center" (read- crappy TV stand that came free with the TV, by Gob the ugliest piece of furniture in creation). I JUST noticed them as well.

In brief, what happened to Thanksgiving? I think I remember eating dinner, and turkey leftovers for eons, and the indigestion that comes with my aunt glorious once-a-year-is-all-that's-necessary cabbage salad, but it kind of got skipped over. I guess pilgrims don't sell as well as TVs.

In other news, I still feel bad about NaBlo drop out. It sucks that it ended that way- there were PRIZES involved, y'all. booo. But now I feel fresh, and the compulsion to phone it in is no longer present.

Tappin out, coach

I suck. I plain ole forgot to post yesterday. Ew! What a lame way to go out. The least I could have done was sit here in agony with nothing to write, tears and blood streaming from various places. No no, I just went to bed without posting. Lame!

Tomorrow, I'll try to get back on the horse.

Spanks-giving-itude

I'm still in a laughy mood, because dinner with the rents, the neph, the sis and the aunt were great fun. Kev always has the good jokes, and sister told many tales of her stint at the Macy's parade. So today I would like to express my thanks to the person who invented stat counters. Without you, I would not know that people happened upon this here blorg by searching-

covered in bird turd
pink cast
train crash yikes
coco crispies
mario lopez sour grapes

and especially
britney spears photos (with a high concentration of these hits coming from the United Arab Emirates). Yep, thank you.

I think this may be my last post of this nature, not least of all because I plan to go shopping with my mom tomorrow bright and early. I may not be all chipper like I have been the last few days. And also, this crap is starting to sound like one of those Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercials. Bring back the artytude!

Arrrghh!

I know that sounds like a pirate, but it can also represent how flippin tired I am. Dozing off during basketball games is my new favorite pass time, and I am loving it.

Today I am most thankful for my bed, where I am now going to plant my sorry ass. G'nite!

thanks in the second degree

Tuesdays and Thursdays I watch my nephew for my sister. She's supposed to be giving me some spending money for this service, but hasn't yet. Oh well. I like to do it, it's not too big of a deal.

My nephew is hilarious. He's smart as hell and has a lot of personality for a 17 month old child. He sings and dances, loves Sesame Street and the Golden Girls (hey, I'm doing my part!) and is generally lovable. Until my sister comes home, then he wants nothing to do with me. Or if my mom is around. Not so happy with me then, either. But when it's just me and him, I get unsolicited kisses and hugs and "laaar-y, I laaaa yooooo"s.

I'm thankful that my family is close both physically and emotionall (though they could be just a few blocks away). I'm so happy to be part of Liam's life, and such a big part, too. I wish I could have that relationship with my neice and nephew from Kev's side, but ah well. They live in the fabled land of New Jersey, and my relationship with those guys is special in a different way. Love love love the kids in my life!

Gratitude, part the first

Today I will begin my (hopefully) week-long exercise of listing things for which I am grateful.

This evening was spent watching NBA games with Kev and dozing on the sofa. Sam joined us, sitting across from us on the chair that is supposed to be mine, but is now so thoroughly covered in cat hair that I've abdicated to him. Sophia even made an appearance, sitting still for a record 5 seconds. Here she was stalking a spider, but hell, she was near us and I'm going to call it family unity, okay?

I am grateful for time spent with my husband, for our sofa, for quality time that just kind of happens and for our TV that finally has NBA season pass, after years of discussing our getting it.

This Week's Forecast: Whine and Cheese

First things first: Frema, I am so ready for this CD exchange. I just need Kev to make me something for an insert. Bring on my matches!!

In other news, I got my students' semester-long projects on Friday. Part of the assignment was to make some sort of container/handmade book to contain the project. I wish I could take some photos, but alas, FERPA and all that. I think it's okay to say, though, that some were REALLY really cool, including a leather book (project was Native American) and an honest-to-goodness Greek Temple! About 8 inches tall (note to self, in addition to height and length restrictions, add depth!) and made of wood. The report is contained inside. So cool

Of course, some are, erm, not exactly what I expected. Lots of objectionable materials (aesthetically, not like, rape scenes or anything like that!) on a few, and one is a massive box (well constructed, though!) that must have weighed about eight pounds. And I had to lug these things, all 40, across campus. Owww, my arms are still tired.

So I have my work cut out for me. I can't decide how to return these, either. Do I really want to drag them all in again? I think I will add a few points of extra credit to the student who goes with me to my car to get them.

Although, maybe I don't want them to know which car is mine. I mean, this is the first bit of writing I'll be grading them on (extended writing, that is). And in the past I've encountered almost every "excellent writer" from every high school in the area. What if they put two and two together and slash miss Salma Booboo's tires?

Which always makes me think of Rainman being an excellent driver, up and down the driveway on Sundays. So stay tuned for more Art Nerd rants, including, to be sure- Just What Are They Teaching These Fools in High School, Anyway?! and AIM Speak Is Not Appropriate for College Papers: True or False?

Sweet Freedom

Warning- all those who dislike photos of quasi-anonymous bloggers' feet, leave this post right now.

Okay, so I never really told you all about my cast coming off on Tuesday. I am FREE!! Before...


After... (both the cast removal and a much-needed but very uncomfortable pedi)


And the sad-looking thing I left at the doctor's office...


I don't know why I thought I should take home the ridiculous rainbow shoe, but I did. Hott. I'm wearing it out next weekend, shit yeah.

I know it complained a lot about being in a cast- it's itchy, uncomfortable to sleep (I'm a stomach sleeper, yeah, yeah, I know, bad) and not the best fashion accessory. But even worse to my self esteem is the new, hobbling for no outwardly apparent reason Art Nerd. I don't like it. It's nice because people no longer express misguided sympathy for me (That looks like it hurts. Yeah, jackass? The grimacing tip you off?) but I also don't like sticking out for my hobbling gait. And have I mentioned that the school I'm teaching at this semester has a fashion department? Yeah, Uggs out the wazoo, tons of leggings and skinny jeans, and here comes fatass Art Nerd in her waddly duck shoes.

Wah wah wah, I know, I know. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am going to feature some of those things on my bloggity this week. Hope everyone's weekends are rocking hardcore!

It's official

I'm old and just slightly domestic. I'm sitting here at my desk inwardly squeeee! ing.

Stanley Steemer is cleaning the rug in the living room as I sit here not working. Wheeee! When I go home there will be beautiful pristine tan rugs where once there were beer-y, soda-y, small patch of resistant cat barf-y nastiness. I am so excited it's unnatural.

The thought just crossed my mind that I should have gotten before pictures, but no, I am too embarrassed. They were bad, ladies and gentlemen. BAD. But the situation is good now, or getting there. I hope they can get the splatter of candle wax out, too, that would rock the house.

It's usually at this point in the semester that my already not-great domestic skillz start to slack off. They kick right back in after all papers are submitted, graded, etc. Usually right in time to put up the tree. And compounding the usual slacking was my stupid foot (hey, did I mention I got my cast off on Tuesday? Sweet freedom!) No mas! Accompanying my newfound emphasis on balancing school with home is increased attention to my housework. I am never going to be a neatfreak like I was in college, but it's going to be better.

Don't worry, my quest for a new feature will not be satisfied by Housework Fridays, I promise. Ew.

Semi regular dose of art?

We haven't looked at any art in a while, and boy is this blog in need of some visual stimulation! This is a section of a multifigured painting from a Villa in (or is it near? I'm doing this one cold, people!) Pompeii.

Ahhh, Pompeii. I've never been, but it's on my list of places to go. I am surprisingly poorly traveled, for an art nerd, but when we have money, boy will I be that pretentious person who's been everywhere, dahling.

So, look at this wonderful work of art. It's aptly titled the Villa of the Mysteries. I love figure painting from every phase of art history, and nakey females always rank high on my list of subjects. Even better when there's an argument on just what the hell is going on here. Is it an initiation ritual? It's not clear. There are humans and gods and goddesses, oh man, this stuff is great!

And look at the figures, aren't they beautiful? These things were buried under ash and pumice for almost 2000 years, we're so lucky to have them! Thank goodness for Vesuvius, no?

Please don't laugh at or judge me

I know that this blog is not exactly known for its airing of my laundry, but everyone, I have a very dirty secret. I am only coming clean tonight because this love affair is now over. It ended tonight at 9:00 EST. One man won and another walked away, broken hearted.

Y'all, I was just totally addicted to Dancing with the Stars. Yes, I know it's cheesy. And I realize you can definitely misconstrue this wonderfully entertaining show as being pretty C-list stuff.

However, there is just something about watching people dance that makes me happy. I loved watching this show. I watched with my sister and my mom, and at first I made fun of them for liking it so much. But somehow I got hooked. I'm not proud.

Now that my secret is out, can I just tell you how loud I screamed and yelled when Emmitt won? I pretty much always root for the underdog, but even moreso when he's just so darn likable. Emmitt seemed like he really enjoyed himself, and he probably wouldn't be all bitter and heartbroken had he not won.

Even better than Emmitt winning? Mario Lopez losing! I HATE him, I hate his jerkoff face, I hate his jerkoff attitude. He was so cocky. And that "romance" thing he had going with his partner- uh, yeah, dude. I'm not buying it, that was sooooo for the cameras. You suck. Now he's being all sour grapes about losing. There was an interview on my local news with him. He said something to the effect of thinking that this contest was about the best dancer. Ew! What a douche! What a cocky prick, and his partner, ew hate her too. Hate her so much that when she comes on the screen I am compelled to yell HATTTTE. Ew. Ew.

So let's have it readers. What is your TV dirty secret?

So what do you want to do with the rest of your life?

I've been pretty down on myself for not really working on my exams. I am so lost, I have but no clue what I'm supposed to do. Really. And it doesn't help that my closest friend in the department doesn't know either. And? She's been studying for a year. Oh no!

But I've come to a realization. I am pretty young. I think I have some time. And there are other things in my life that take priority over self-imposed deadlines. I had originally planned to take the damned prelims this spring. Standing in my way is the fact that I've signed on for another class at the school I'm teaching for now, and also I have two classes, one of my own design, guh! at my own school. Owwww. When in the hell am I going to study, I can't even get started with my one measly prep! One advantage is that the course I'm designing (read- googling madly for other peoples' syllabi) is related to my proposed specialty.

Well, ladies and gents, I've decided. I think it's more important to get a house than it is to get my exams over with. I want to do them well. It's the only time in my life where I get to study, and I am going to do that to death.

To get a house, I need to teach. I need to build up contacts and pretty much take every job I can get. If I continue to do so, Kev and I can get a house. And I think a house would certainly help in the "being-able-to-study-more-effectively" department.

I am trying to relax about the whole process. I think I need to take my time in grad school. I am young and need to take this time to build up some contacts, get some conferences in, and enjoy my time as a non-tenure seeking individual.

I even think a baby might fit into this equation. What better time than right after we get a house to procreate, right?

Trying to get through really fast seemed like a good idea at first, because I guess I had something to prove. But there is more to life than a PhD. I want to live my life, and I want to stop living on hold. So what if I have to apply for extensions of time.

I am thrilled with my new plan. I feel like a load has been lifted. And I didn't even freak out when my stupid private loans came due. And I can't defer them, and I basically need 600 bucks like yesterday. I was in collections? My gah, I really thought I could defer forever, but I guess not. Oh well, at least those Stafford loans are still deferrable.

I'm not sure this is going to work

so I'm not going to compose a very thoughtful or ground-breaking post. But I can't get to my blog right now, but thank goodness for the back button, so I found my dashboard.

Dude, this so counts for NaBloPoMo. Eff you blogger, you sizz-uck!

All about the cheese

Go here and do this, you know you want to!

I'm sorry, I know I'm supposed to put the button on my sidebar and have it link back to the post and all, but I haven't yet figured out how to do this. I blame Frema for me not posting on Friday night. I thought I had, but lo, I had only spent about an hour putting together my ultimate cheesy love songs CD. The original list would have made two CDs, but I didn't want to be a ham. I'm now kicking around ideas for album art. (My husband works in CD manufacturing and is a music geek to boot, what did you expect?! I can't just send out a CD-R with "Art Nerd's Greatest Cheesy Love Songs" scrawled in sharpie!) (Maybe being a little bit of a ham there). I can't wait to get mine, yay yay yay!

In other news, I'd like to finally have my own blog header, and I hereby commission Kev to do it. I have a tagline in mind, I just have to figure out the specifications of a blog header- how big, etc. Liberal Banana is still up and has those links, so maybe before, oh, I don't know, the end of the year, I'll have an awesome bloggity blog blog header. Don't you worry. I realize how cheesy it is for someone who supposedly holds a BFA to have a crappy blogger template, but remember, I am a grad student and an adjunct instructor to boot- buying my own skin is not high on my list of priorities. I would love that, but alas, no.

So this entry, it is all about the cheese, eh- both giving it to others and taking it away. Happy Sunday, everyone!

Damaged, squared

I didn't know it was possible, but ladies and gentlemen, I've done it. I broke my cast.

Let me emphasize- I BROKE. my CAST.

There's a bigh hole in my heel, and up at the top on the underside of my foot, there's a lengthwise crack. And various lateral cracks and peelages.

Did you know this was possible? It is, and my god I've done it.

Also- Three days to go, and I'm getting scared about getting this thing off. I know, I've bitched and complained about it a lot, but I'm scared of how it's going to feel when the cast is gone. I dread waddling around without a bright pink cast on my leg even more than I did with my fiberglass appendage. All the unwelcome attention that I still haven't really written about is far better than what I've built up in my mind to be excruciating pain without any outward indicators of injury.

I know, I'm crazy. Hold me, readers. sniff sniff.

Crap!

I forgot last night. Ooops. I suck, I am no longer hardcore. I remembered at 1 o'clock last night, and though I'd fallen asleep on the sofa, I hadn't gone to bed yet, so maybe that still might have counted. But I couldn't form a coherent thought, so I skipped it.

Back on the wagon! Maybe I'll just try to have 30 entries for November. That's still a worthy goal, yes?

I always feel like...

Sophia's watching meeee!

Sing it to the tune of that "dude-who-sounded-a-lot-like-Michael-Jackson-and-was-kinda-his-protege"'s "Somebody Watching Me" song, and it's funny.

I think it is, anyway.

This is Sophia, peeking around the corner of my laptop while I was taking notes for my lecture a few days ago. She's a creep, isn't she?

I'm a little swamped with stuff right now. The substantive content will return tomorrow! NaBloPoMo is about quantity, not quality, yes?

Jerks

I've been a little leary of getting into specifics about students. I'm not going to now, either, but I just wanted to preface my bitchfest today with a little disclaimer that I'm not trying to get dooced or anything. i'm not going to talk about students, but focus more on my own experience in the classroom. I just wanted to set up my philosophy about writing about school, mainly so that you realize that I know there are other people in my classroom than just me. I'm not being self-centered, I'm protecting my ass :)

So, yes, Augustus went well. I had some makeup exams to give, so I did that, and then accompanied my sister Santa shopping for her son. That was so fun!

When I got home, I had some emails in my inbox. Some were ones that I'd been expecting- one student I've been working with closely, she's had a rough semester. Another student explaining why he hadn't been in class today.

And then.

The jerky requests for extensions on their semester-long projects. Not only are they asking 2 days before it's due, they are not asking in very nice ways. Well, some of them are, some aren't.

This is what I told them, and please weigh in with your opinions. I basically told them that it was up to them to turn their projects in. If they gave me a paper on Monday rather than the due date of Friday, I'd have to penalize them (minimally) for professionalism.

In truth, I don't care if they give me their papers on Monday. I'm not even going to look at them until the Final final pres next Friday. But? A deadline is a deadline. They've known about this since the beginning of the semester, ya know? And, since I'll be teaching at this school again in the spring, I'm being extra careful not to get a reputation as an easy teacher.

Wait, easy is probably not the word I'm looking for. Push-over? But anyway, the jerkiest email pointed out that I'd allowed a small group of students to take the exam a day later. I had done that, yes. But these guys asked me, in person, adult-to-adult. I obliged. And I'll tell ya, that exam was harder- not only in content, but in the fact that I had to have them take it in the library. Distractions and crappy photocopied images instead of dead quiet and a lovely powerpoint pres by yours truly.

So, how did I do, readers? Am I still too soft? A big ole bitch? i'll be hearing about it sooner or later, they do fill out course evals, after all.

I hope this isn't considered cheating, or meme-ing

Tomorrow I am set to teach about Rome, for the love of gob, something I know something about! Woo to the hoo, baby!

I'm starting with the Republic and its demise, including some about Julius Caesar, and then on to one of my favorite historical figures- Augustus. It's funny that most people know Julius Caesar, who was killed before he did most of what he'd planned. Augustus had a much greater impact, especially visually, on Rome. And he lived to be in his 80's- plenty of time to do some damage!

It got me to thinking- which historical figures I'd like to meet. Because you can usually tell a lot about a person by who they pick, blah blah blah psychobabble-cakes.

But he's really my only one. There are artists that I greatly admire, but I don't want to meet Degas- he is thought to have been a horrible anti-Semite and misogynist. Maybe if I put in a proviso that I'll only meet him if I can dispel those myths.

Manet- oh to sit with him while he painted those late-in-life still lifes. But he was kind of a pain in the ass.

We all know how I react when I meet people I admire- hello, nearly threw up on the artist I wrote my thesis on. So I think I'll stick with just one. I like my illusions just fine, thanks.

Of course, I'd like to meet my Grandpop and Pop-pop as an adult. And my dad's mom, who died before he and my mom married. I imagine her speaking with an Irish accent, which my dad says was only the case when she was angry. But they're not famous.

Readers? Who would you all like to meet? I'd give you up to five. Go!

Making frieeeeeends, for the world to seeeeee...

I love NaBloPoMo!

Not only do I have the freedom, nay, the need to post anything, just to have a post on the day, I met some new friends!! Ladies and gentlemen, behold:

RoRicka
Sugared Harpy

Two more art historians in the house! As per her comment earlier today, Roricka and I have formed a gang of rogue art historians. boo-frickin-ya, ya'll. And? In checking in this morning between classes, I found that my bloggy is mentioned on wikipedia under "academic blogs". And then the entry throws around words like pedagogy and techy things, and I'm all, "Huh?" Because really, they just throw us in a classroom and let us fend for our damn selves. I'm working without a net, here! And the academic talk around here is basically a random smattering of tales of the kind of ass I made of myself today in front of class. Oh wikipedia, you silly silly bitch!

And in other, related news, I think my BFF from grad school might be moving back to my fine city. And not only that, but might be moving to a sublet that is about 4 minutes from our house! I'd die, just die if she were that close. I'm gushing, and I'm so not a gusher.

My house smells like mulled cider, not from the actual thing, but from the candle I bought the other day at Lowes. Mmmm, beautiful! The end

Damn my breadth of knowledge of crappy 80's music!

Tomorrow I am slated to teach about the Etruscans. I have to emphasize how they never formed a real nation, it's just a bunch of connected but separate city-states.

And their art is fascinating and beautiful and very strange. See?



I love it!

But damn if I don't have "I am Etruria", sung to the tune of "I am the warrior" by Scandal stuck in my head. Crap.

A Tale from the Trenches

I think this story is much funnier if you know me IRL, but I think you, as readers, kind of get my personality. I am pretty damn laid back. I'm not one to fly off the proverbial handle. I am non-confrontational to a fault. I am, in other words, a big pussycat.

That being said, listen to the gist of an email sent to me by a student.

Let me preface this (cause you know, one preface isn't enough) by saying that I still find college freshmen fascinating. I am railing against burnout so badly. I was like them once, not-so-long ago (1997 to be exact) (wow, that makes me seem older than I really think I am) (Good Christ with the parentheses, woman!). Anyway, so yeah, love the freshmen and their crazy ways.

Dear Prof
Hi, I'm sorry I wasn't in class today. I commute from New Jersey, and traffic was heavy today. I made it to campus 10 minutes late, and since I KNOW US GETTING TO CLASS LATE ANNOYS YOU, I JUST DIDN'T COME. blah blah excuse cakes, your student, suzy overslept.

There are several kickers to this story. The least of which is that I really don't tend to show my annoyance. I asked this big group of guys to be sure they arrived on time exactly once. I said, hey, guys, I'm here and starting class at 10, you should be here too. Not exactly a blow-up a la my mom pre-Prozac.

Here's the second thing. NJ is not some mythical land, somewhere between Babylon and Timbuktu. Know how I live in the city of Philadelphia? Well, if geography isn't your forte (and apparently it's not this girl's), it's about 4 feet from the border between PA and NJ. I am sensitive to the needs of commuters, I was once one myself. And? I totally took the bus with wet paintings in shopping bags with a bunch of bitchy girls from the private academy. I know commuting, honey.

The most ridic thing about this note is how she tries to pin this on me. Don't want to incur the wrath of the Art Nerd, best not to come to class at all than risk that. Who ever thought that 10 minutes late would be a reason not to go to something? I will have to try this one once myself.

I mean, really, have you ever, in your life, tried to pin your absence from class on your hostile professor who is SO NOT HOSTILE, at least not then, anyway! Hmph!

Can I whine?

It's about the thing on the bottom of my left leg. I want it off. Like now. Not on November 14, but right now. And making things worse is the fact that I'm pretty sure this stupid thing isn't healing right, and? I have premonitions that on November 14 I'm going to go to get my cast off, and my (awesome!) doctor is going to say, too bad for you, you get 2 more weeks.

See, I'm a pisces, we're known to be a little psychic. I could really be right ya know.

It's such a pain in the ass to be casted. AND? Since most of you don't encounter me in daily life, like in the flesh as it were, I can tell you that this. thing. stinks. BAD. Like, two weeks-ish left to go and I can now smell it under my desk, stinks.

I'm sorry, innernet, but it's true. IRL friend Andrew, or Fraulein N if I ever run into you, I'm really sorry. Truly.

And I'm sad because I feel extra frumpy because I cannot wear cute shoe. (not shoes, and that's on purpose) It's either a sneaker or, heavens to Betsy, a crappy clog of the Crocs knock-off variety for me. I'm trying to own the foamy shoe look by accenting with fun socks, but it's a feeble attempt at best.

And Frema looks so cute in the picture, I want my F-me booooootssss! Wah!

Okay, I'm done. I promise not to talk about the cast again until it comes off. With the possible exception of one more entry floating around in my head on how people like to talk to those who are injured. Seriously, if it's this bad now, I can only imagine when I am pregnant!

I just hope his mom doesn't go there with the chunky soup!

I used to go to a very nice dentist whose office was located in his basement. It's really not as shady as it seems, lots of the end rowhomes in my city are converted into retail/medical offices. He was nice, remembered me from visit to visit, and sang *profoundly off key* as he was scraping my teeth.

When I got my own medical and dental insurance, I had to switch- he didn't accept my new plan. When I went on Kev's insurance, I could have switched back. The truth is, I felt bad about switching in the first place, and I can't handle rejecting another dentist.

Not that my new dentist would notice. I think everyone in the city goes here. The waiting room is always packed, though I never wait very long. The practice is so weird and machine-like, I don't even know which dentist I see, and it's always the same one. RIGHT? That's weird. There are a bazillion hygenists, four doctors, eighteen receptionists and a flat panel TV on every wall surface. This office has swank, while the old one had charm.

I was checking in on Halloween to have my filling fixed (Booooo that sucked!). As I was paying, my eyes fell on a stack of charts. Presumably of those who had been in the office earlier in the day. Well, guess whose chart I saw?

And can I say that I don't think this is a common name? And he does have rather nice teeth, and I am proud that I share a dentist with him (possibly, since I don't know my dentist's name).

Donovan McNabb. Of the Eagles. Oh yeah.



He's on the left here. Nice teeth, no? I am so not switching now, and OMG everyone me and D Mac are on the same dental schedule!!!! whee!

NaBloPoMo, you say?

NaBloPoMo is an acronym (and one rife for double entendres, if you ask me!) of National Blog Posting Month. I have signed up for the challenge, which entails updating all my (5) readers on my not-so-exciting life. I hope to get at least to the teens before reverting to memes and "hey, ask me questions!" posts, but I'm so not promising anything.

So, hi, then, what's up? I gave the second exam today, and there was this boy sitting in the back. Tall kid, sandy blonde-ish brown hair, indie haircut. I HAD NEVER SEEN THIS KID BEFORE IN MY LIFE. Not. a. clue as to who he was. Or who he was supposed to be.

See, I'm prone to, how do you say, ah, yes, overreact? a bit sometimes. It's my mom's fault, she taught me how to get my Irish up at a moment's notice.

I had myself convinced, CONVINCED! that he was taking the exam in someone else's place.

My mind was racing. What do I do? Do I confront him? Ask to see his ID? I am so serious when I say I have nevah! seen this guy before.

I came up with a plan. I was passing out the outlines I'd looked over after the students handed in their tests. I will just ask, casual like, what his topic was. If he didn't know, he wasn't Student! I am brilliant, I think. Masterful. They think they'll put one over on the young-ish teacher, ha ha, I'll show these goofballs.

He walks up to hand in his paper. I take a look. And I must have visibly relaxed.

The paper was only half filled in. Well, I think to myself, I guess if this guy doesn't pick better stand-ins, I'll just let this exam speak for itself. No need to confront.

I went home and realized that he isn't doing well at all in class. I guess I just didn't recognize him because he doesn't come to class all that often.

Happy NaBloPoMo, everyone! I want comments and love, please, in that order!